Promo Archive thread

[TTS thinks this won't end well]

YangBana and Maria
*The camera opens to find Jimmy Wang Yang, Colt Cabana, and Maria all dressed in cowboy clothes. Yang and Maria look ecstatic while Colt just shakes his head.*

Jimmy, I still don't see why we have to wear these costumes.

LOOKIE HERE SUNDANCE, IF BUTCH CASSIDY WANTS YA TA WEAR THESE COSTUMES, YOU'LL WEAR 'EM!

When did I become the Sundance Kid? If anything, I should be Butch Cassidy!

DON'T BACKSASS ME SUNDANCE!

*Colt just shakes his head.*

Yay! I get to rodeo!

Really, just let this be over.

IT AIN'T OVER TIL THE FAT LADY SINGS SUNDANCE! NOW, ARE YA READY FOR MIZ AN' MORR-SON?

Anything to get this horrible nightmare over with.

That's the spirit!

*Colt just shakes his head as all three head to the ring.*

[Deleted]

Ricky Ortiz joins the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club


Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the General Manager of ECW, Vickie Guerrero!

*Vickie walks to the ring, accompanied by Tiffany and Ricky Ortiz, who is carrying an easel and some posters. Big Show and Mike Knox remain in the ring*

Ladies and gentlemen, tomorrow night is the Royal Rumble. And at the Royal Rumble, I, Vickie Guerrero, will be presenting a revolutionary match: The Vickie Guerrero Risk Or Reward Challenge!

Now I suppose a lot of you are wondering how this match will work. Well, it’s all very simple. Show them Ricky.

*Ricky set’s up the easel and places one of the posters on it. The poster reads “Seven ECW Superstars…”*

Yes, that’s right, seven… wait a second. There are eight superstars in the match!

*Ricky puts up the next poster, which reads, “… and DH Smith”*

Oh, ok. Like I was saying, seven ECW Superstars and DH Smith will be participating in this match.

*Ricky holds up another poster, which reads, “Three winners”*

Three Superstars(or DH Smith) will win this match, as there will be three falls. After each fall, the Superstar(or DH Smith) who won will take a seat at ringside, and the match continues without him.

*Ricky holds up another poster, reading, “3 envelopes”*

Each winner will be given an envelope. After the final fall, the winners will open their envelopes in the middle of the ring. In each envelope, there will be either a risk or a reward. These could be anything, from a championship match, to a 30 day suspension. You’ll have to take a risk, in order to get the reward. Good luck to all the Superstars involved.






And especially good luck to DH Smith.




*Vince McMahon comes out onto the stage. He's accompanied to the ring by Gerald Brisco, Pat Patterson and JTG*

Todd: Uh oh! I guess we know what time it is now, Matt!

Matt: That’s right Todd. It’s time for Ricky Ortiz to join a very exclusive club!

*Vince grabs the mic*

Vickie Guerrero. Pleasure to be here in the ring for such a... momentous occasion. However before we can proceed with the... proceedings, I have a bit of business to attend to.

WILLIAM REGAL! You think you can drop a match that I booked? A handicap match against Orton? Then you turn it into a handicap match against Cryme Tyme and then trade JTG over to ECW to cause a split in Cryme Tyme?! Well, all I'm going to say is I'm not amused... and I'll be having words with you tomorrow at the PPV.

So as you can tell Vickie I'm a little bit angry over that now. Now that I've thought about it a little. So Ricky Ortiz... tonight is your chance at stardom son. Tonight you get to join a very exclusive club - the Vince McMahon KISS MY ASS CLUB. How does that make you feel?

Well, to be honest, I'm nervous, yet excited. It's not everyday a guy get's to kiss the ass of a famous billionaire.

But let's make one thing clear. I'm doing this for Tiffany. Not for your sick amusement. So let's just get this over with, OK?

Well Ricky, there are a number of things I want you to know before this happens. For your pleasure I have ensured that I received an assial. Now what's an assial you ask? An assial is like a facial... on your ass. So my ass will be nice and fresh and clean for your lips.

*McMahon undoes his belt and drops his trousers*

Look at this Ricky!

*McMahon gets his ass to do tricks for Ortiz. Ortiz looks stunned and disturbed*

Well Ricky, now's the time, KISS MY ASS! You can join the elite list including William Regal, Jim Ross, Marty Jannetty and Shane McMahon.... the last one was a mistake mind.

*McMahon sticks his ass out into Ricky's face. Ricky looks disgusted, but looks over at Tiffany. He then kisses McMahon's ass. McMahon celebrates like he just won the WWE title.

Ricky Ortiz looks happy to have that ordeal finished with. He goes to leave, but…*

Not so fast Ortiz. You have joined the Kiss MY Ass Club, but I feel that you owe an apology to Vickie Guerrero as well, given it was her pictures you were parading around with. So Ricky Ortiz KISS VICKIE GUERRERO'S ASS!


*Vickie looks over at Mr. McMahon, a little confused, but he encourages her to go ahead. Vickie exposes her ass, and Ortiz, reluctantly kisses it*

Ricky, consider yourself forgiven!



McMahon rolls about laughing at Ortiz for again kissing ass.

Ricky... Ricky... it doesn't end there, you're gonna kiss THE BIG SHOW'S ASS.....


AND MIKE KNOX'S ASS....


AND JTG'S ASS!


Wait. Why stop there? Mark Henry! Jillian Hall! Mike Adamle! Hornswoggle! Come on out here!

*As Ortiz begins, Vince calls Patterson and Brisco to line up. He also summons the likes of the Brooklyn Brawler, Mae Young, Howard Finkel, and numerous others. ECW concludes with dozens of WCWWE Superstars and staff lined up to have Ricky Ortiz kiss their ass*

[Deleted]

R-Truth's date with Pat Patterson

*In MVP and R-Truth’s locker room*

He’s all set!

Hey, Truth! Come on out so Mae and I can see!

Man this is ridiculous! I can’t believe I have to go on a date with Pat Patterson while wearing a dress! You promise not to laugh?

Look man, I swear. I just wanna see how ya look.

…Fine.

*R-Truth steps out of the bathroom, wearing a dress, with his hair in a perm. MVP tries to hold back his laughter*

Hey man! You promised not to laugh!

I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at a joke Mae told me earlier.

*MVP finally bursts out laughing*

Don’t listen to him Truth! You make a gorgeous drag queen!

…You both suck. You know that, right?

*There’s a knock on the door*

Oh, that must be your date! C’mon in!

…I hate you, ok?

*Pat Patterson enters the locker room, dressed in a tux and carrying a box of chocolates and bouquet of roses*

Are you ready, Truths?

*Without waiting for an answer, Patterson grabs Truth by the arm and drags him out the door*

You crazy kids have a good time! Try to have him back by midnight!

*MVP puts his arm around Kelly*

Ahh. Alone at last.

*MVP looks over to see Mae, with a lusty grin on her face*

Well… almost.

*MVP slowly backs away from Mae as the scene ends*


*Patterson and Truth are in the back of a limo*

Well, datin’ guys ain’t really my scene, but I am impressed that you got us a limo.

You’re gonna be impressed by a lot more than that before tonights is finished.

Aww man, I just told you I don’t go that way!

What way? You mean you don’t like expensive French restaurant?

No, I love French food. I was talkin’ ‘bout… oh, never mind!

*Patterson is staring into Truth’s eyes*

Man, whatchu starin’ at?

Your eyes…

No man! Just no! I don’t roll like that!

I was just trying to tell you that you’re wearing to much eyeliners. The trick is to make it blends in.

Oh, thanks man. I’ll remember that for next… wait a minute! There ain’t gonna be no next time!

Well, you never knows. If this work out oks, we might be seeing more of each others.

Cut it out! I’m only goin’ on this date because Mr. McMahon made me!

I know that’s. But I might be able talk Mr. McMahon into giving you a positions of power. That is, if you wants it.

Man, you’d do that for me?

Certainly. What did you thinks I was talking about?

Don’t worry ‘bout man. I just gotta calm down.

You seem awfully tense. I know a trick. Just close your eyes and relax.

*Truth does as he’s told. Patterson starts massaging Truth’s shoulders*

Now doesn’t that feel nice and relaxing?

Hey, it does! Man, I’m sorry for flippin’ out on you before. You’re alright, Pat

You’re not so bads yourself.

*Patterson suddenly pulls Truth in and starts caressing and kissing him*

HEY!!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU”RE DOIN’?!

Well, this IS a dates!

DAMMIT! Somebody’s gonna pay for this!

*Patterson resumes kissing Truth as the scene ends*


*R-Truth and Pat Patterson are at a fancy French restaurant*

So hows was your meal, Truth?

Not bad, I gotta say. For a guy, you’re not a bad date.

Oh, all the boy say thats!

…And then you say something like that.

You know what would be the perfect way to ends this date?

You taking me home and forgetting this ever happened?

Close! We’re goin’ backs to my hotel room!

I’m gonna hurt somebody for this.

*Patterson grabs Truth by the arm and drags him away… then he runs back to the table to leave money, then takes off again, as the scene ends*


*Patterson and Truth enter the hotel room*

Wow, nice hotel room. Bye!

*Truth runs for the door, but Patterson pulls him back*

Now you listens here! Mr. McMahon promised me a full dates, and for me the dates isn’t over without a little “fun,” if you catch my drifts.

…HELP!!! HELP!!! OH PLEASE, SOMEBODY HELP!!!

*The door bursts open and Mae Young charges in*

There you two are!

Mae?! What are you doings here?!

How DARE you get a hotel room and not invite me! I can’t believe you!

Well Mae, I told you I always end my dates in the hotel room…

I wasn’t talking to YOU! I mean HIM! How could you Truth?! I thought we had something special?!

Mae… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.

Well, kid. I hopes you’re happy! You just upset Mae Young! This date is OVER! C’mon Mae, let’s go get a drink!

*Mae perks up at hearing this*

And pick up guys too?

Anything you want Mae.

Then why are standin’ here talkin’?! Let’s go!

*Mae and Patterson leave. After the door closes, Truth smiles and starts dancing*

YES! The nightmare’s OVER!!! Oh yeah! Whassup! Whassup!

*The door opens and MVP and Kelly enter*

Hey Truth! Why were Patterson and Mae leavin’ in such a hurry?

Man, I don’t even know where to start. You know what though? I want to thank you, Montel. You’ve supported during this whole 5 Chances At Glory thing, so I want to give you a token of my appreciation.

*Truth hands MVP a key*

Is this what I think it is?

This is the key to this room. You got Kelly here with ya, you got this big room all to yourselves…

I think… I think I love you, man.

Now c’mon bro. I just spent a night with Pat Patterson. You really think I wanna hear THAT?

*MVP and Truth both laugh*

I’m headed back to my place. You two enjoy yourselves

*Truth leaves, closing the door behind him. As soon as the door closes, shouts of joy can be heard from the room. Truth just smiles*

Man, those crazy kids!

*Truth walks away, singing his theme music to himself as the scene ends*

[Deleted]

And now, here's what led to the Kiss My Ass segment from above.


Vince McMahon is seen standing in a random corridor waiting for a victim (?).

*Vickie Gurrero's personal assistant, Ricky Ortiz, walks by, carrying a bunch of posters*

Why hello there Mr............ Why hello there! What's that you got there?

Well, Mr. McMahon, Vickie Guerrero asked me to make a bunch of posters for some presentation she's making on ECW this week. I'm on my way to deliver them to her.

That's very interesting... Ricky? It IS Ricky isn't it? Can I take a look?

Well... I guess she won't mind if I let YOU see them.

*Hands over the posters to Mr. McMahon*

Vince starts looking through them. Ricky's mobile phone goes off and he looks away to take the call. Vince notices this and slips in some pictures into the pile of posters. Ortiz finishes up his call, and McMahon drops the posters. Ortiz bends down to pick them up and finds the pictures. Vince notices.

What the hell is this Ricky?! How did YOU get those pictures of Vickie Guerrero UNCENSORED?! EXPLAIN YOURSELF RICKY!

Ricky, it's a great offence to have... those sorts of pictures of one of the powers that be here in WCWWE... You KNOW I should FIIIIIIIRE you right now on the spot! Give me ONE GOOD REASON I shouldn't fire you right now!

Umm...

*Tiffany runs over to Ricky and Mr. McMahon*

Mr. McMahon, don't fire him!

Tiffany! What are you doing?!

_{Saving your ass, so shut up!}Mr. McMahon, I can explain. As Ms. Guerrero's secretary, it's my job to filter out any bad press. Those photos fall into that category. I had them mailed to me, so I could destroy them. I must have accidentally left them on my desk, and when Ricky was grabbing the supplies he needed, he must have grabbed the photos as well, by mistake. So you see, it's not Ricky's fault, it's mine.

_{Wow, she's good!}

McMahon looks perplexed.

That's very interesting Tiffany. Very interesting indeed. That is SO very interesting, that on ECW on Thursday, you're gonna have a match. And that match will be one on one with.... MIKE ADAMLE!

Wait, Mr. McMahon! Please, don't make Tiffany fight Adamle! She's not a wrestler, and she might get hurt! Please, Vince, if you call off the match, I'll... I'll... I'll join the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club, live in the middle of the ring, at the Royal Rumble!

Vince lets out a grin.

Well Ricky your deal half works. I'm gonna modify it a bit, but... okay, Tiffany will not wrestle.

Ricky Ortiz, you WILL join the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass club... but it won't be at the Royal Rumble. No, no. It will be LIVE on free TV, for all the world to see! You will kiss my ass next week on ECW!

Vince grabs the photos back from Ricky.

Pleasure doing business with you Ortiz.

I can't believe you did that for me!

Babe, your worth it.

*Ricky and Tiffany begin making out. After a few seconds, Tiffany breaks away*

You do know that after you join the Kiss My Ass Club, there's no more making out, right? Lips that touch Mr. McMahon's ass will not touch mine.

...Can we still make out right now?

Sure.

...Cool.

*They start making out again*

MVP and Kelly Kelly walk in

Hey, Montel, Kelly! 'Sup?!

HI CARL-Oh Its you Ricky..................I mean as My Partner would Say WHATS UP!??!!?

*Umaga is seen peering out his cage at the gathering crowd. There appears to be human bones strewn over the floor of the cage*

Not much, man. Just hangin' out with my girl, Tiffany. What's up with you?

I Was lookin for Mr. McMahon To be Honest

Look, I don't know anything about those pictures! I'm already kissin' Vickie's ass, now I gotta kiss Vince's too! Why does everyone wanna get me in trouble?! It's not fair!

*Ricky storms out, leaving MVP, Kelly, and Tiffany behind*

Is Billy Gunn back now?

*Mickie James enters*

Hey MVP!

*Mickie notices Kelly and Tiffany*

Oh,Kelly. ...Other girl. So MVP, how's everything? Aren't you excited about the Royal Rumble?! I Know I am! I have a match with Beth, and Natalya, and Candice, and i'm so gonna win! Hey did you know I have a match with Candice on Raw this week?! I'm so gonna destroy her! Hey Kelly! Remember when i totally kicked your ass back when you were on Raw?! That was awesome, wasn't it?! Hey MVP, good luck in your tag title match tomorrow night! I know you and Brian will crush them! Well, I gotta go! It's been nice talking to you guys!

*Mickie runs off*

Wow must be a Full Moon tonight................

[Deleted]

One of my favorite promos from the angle that eventually led to Chavo Guerrero: World Champion.


ECW AFTER THE BELL

*The following took place during the break in between the Henry-Burke and Fox-Hall matches*



*Vickie Guerrero makes her way to the ring, flanked by JTG, Ricky Ortiz, and Tiffany*

As you all know, over the last several weeks, my nephew Chavo has been given a rather simple task. Do the Guerrero Family proud, and win a match. But Chavo seems to have had trouble pulling off even the simplest of tasks. I've given him chance after chance, but still he's failed to take advantage. So Chavo, it's time for you to face the music. Get out here RIGHT NOW.



*Chavo approaches the ring*

Chavo, I've been very patient with you, but I can't do that anymore. Last week, you had your last chance, and you failed. You were pinned, 1, 2, 3, in the middle of the ring by the Undisputed Champion Shawn Michaels. Now, I understand that Shawn is a top calibre opponent, but I thought you were a Guerrero! But I guess I was wrong. Because Guerreros are winners! Chavo, you're not a winner. You're a joke. And as far I'm concerned, you are no longer a part of MY family.

*Vickie gets right in Chavo's face*

Eddie would be ashamed of you.

*Chavo grabs Vickie by the throat, but JTG and Ortiz pull him off, but Chavo fights loose and get's out of the ring*

THAT'S IT!!! YOU'VE JUST OPENED UP THE FLOODGATES CHAVO!!! FROM NOW ON, YOUR LIFE IS GOING TO BE A LIVING HELL!!!

*Vickie and company leave as the show returns from the break*

THIS HAS BEEN ECW AFTER THE BELL

[Deleted]

Anyone remember back when R-Truth rapped?


HEY WHAT'S UP?!! Kung Fu Naki, you know we're bros, but come Sunday night, man, we gonna be foes. You step in that ring with me, man you gonna see. Cause my name is R-Truth and I'm the baddest cat around, ain't nobody else be bangin' out this sound.

5 Chances of Glory, 1 down, 4 to go. What will the prizes be? Hell if I know. A lap dance from Big Dick, man, that made me sick. He so big and so ugly, but boy was he quick. Er, I mean... MVP, my brother, my chum. He'll whoop Ezekiel Jackson, that no-talent bum.

R-Truth and Montel, you know they can't be beat, so get out of the fryin' pan, if you can't take the heat! My name is R-Truth, and that's WHAT'S UP!!!

[Deleted]

Mickie James: The Final Chapter

The Prematch Promo:

The question on a lot of people’s minds lately has been, “What’s up with Mickie James?” Well, it’s finally time to give some answers.

About a year and a half or so ago, I began a relationship with CM Punk. You know those moments, when you can just feel everything click and you know you’ve found the right person? Well, that was one of those times. Phil was the perfect guy for me. He was so sweet, so understanding, and damn if he wasn’t sexy as hell. It was a match made in heaven. Or so I thought.

So, about six months into this relationship, he buys me this doll. He said he saw it at an antique shop and that it reminded him of me. I thought it was so sweet.

But then, not long after he got me Angel, something went wrong. He changed. All of sudden, he started calling me crazy, calling me controlling, he… he called me… he called me a… *voice cracking* psycho.

*With tears in her eyes* He dumped me.

CM Punk did more than just dump me. He ripped out my heart and stomped all over it! I loved him! And I loved Angel! But I could’ve loved them both! But he wouldn’t let me! So I couldn’t love either one of them! That’s just the way it had to be!

*Regains her composure*

So the man I loved broke my heart, but I had to try and move on. But it was tough, especially being on the same show with him. No wonder I had a nervous breakdown and ended up in therapy.

When I got out, I vowed to move away from him. I won the Cash in the Vault at WrestleMania and got drafted to Smackdown. Things were looking good. Then he got moved to Smackdown too.

But so did John.

I had already promised myself things were gonna be different on Smackdown. I was going to face top notch competition. I was going to forget all about CM What’s-his-face.

I was going to get a second chance at love.

I thought John was different. That he wasn’t like Punk. But I learned quickly, all men are scum. Period.

Just like with Punk, John was a supersweet guy in the beginning. He was supportive of me, especially when I went after that hag Katie Lea for the Women’s Title. And when I won the belt, he threw me a big party. But after I lost the belt, I fell into a funk. And suddenly, John didn’t wan- he - *voice cracking* he didn’t wanna be with me anymore.

*Barely holding back her tears* I was going through the pain of losing something I worked so hard to win. And rather than be a good boyfriend, he just kicked me to the curb!

*Openly sobbing now*

And while I was going through all this emotional scarring, the fans were so mean to me. They booed me, they wouldn’t even let me get a word in edgewise!

I go out there every week to entertain you people, but you booed me! And then that girl was making fun of me. She was just so cruel. But it didn’t excuse what I did. Pulling her over the rail and locking her in the STF? No, she didn’t deserve that.

She deserved more than that! And that’s what that piece of trash got!

*Screaming through her sobs*

I BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THAT BITCH, THEN I THREW HER ASS IN A DUMPSTER!!!! I FIGURED SHE’D FEEL RIGHT AT HOME WITH ALL THE OTHER TRASH!!!!

*Calming down a little bit*

And ya know? After I did that, it made me think. What’s good for the goose, as they say. So over the past few weeks, I’ve made it my mission to clean up Smackdown. And it was going well, until someone decided to butt in.

Beth Phoenix. Let’s just take a moment and recap YOUR 2009, huh? Let’s see, lost Women’s title to Kenny Dykstra, got traded to Smackdown by Shad Gaspard, got fat and depressed. Hooked up with CM Punk and in the meantime, got your ass handed to you by me half a dozen times.

And now Beth, you think things will be any different? Why? Because you think you’re being a heroine? Well let me tell you something.

You are NOT going to be the heroine, Beth. This story does not end with the evil Mickie James being vanquished by the Spectacular Glamazon. No. This story ends the same way the story of every other Diva on this show ended when they faced me.

You’ll be half-conscious, lying in a dumpster, wondering how it came to this.

And as for the year 2009? Well it’ll end the same way it started for you Beth.

In the gutter.


Beth Phoenix prepares for battle:

Beth Phoenix is seen doing some last minute warmups, before heading towards the ring. As she walks towards the curtain, she hears somebody clapping. She turns around and sees Eve Torres. Behind her are the Bella twins, who also start clapping. They’re joined by Gail Kim, Layla and Maria, as well as a good portion of the male roster. Beth smiles at her supporters, then with a confident look on her face, she makes her way to through the curtain.


The introductions:



*Beth Phoenix walks out to the ring to a huge ovation from the crowd. As Beth surveys the audience, she notices one particular face and smiles. Beth walks over to where Mia Mancini is sitting and highfives her. Mia gives Beth a big hug and mouths “Go get her!”*




*As Mickie walks out, pushing a dumpster, the fans boo mercilessly. Mickie sees Mia in the front row. Mickie walks over and the two get into it, before security pulls Mia back. Mickie rolls in the ring as Justin Roberts gets on the mic.*


The following contest is a DUMPSTER MATCH!!!

To win, one competitor must be able to throw her opponent in the dumpster and close the lid.

Now introducing first. From Buffalo, New York. She is the Glamazon, BETH PHOENIX!!!!

*Loud pop for Beth.*

And now her opponent. From Richmond, Virginia. MICKIE JAMES!!!

The building rumbles as the entire crowd, led by Mia, is booing Mickie. Mickie screams at them to shut up, then charges at Beth as the referee calls for the bell.


The Match:

Beth get’s the upper hand on Mickie, but not for long, as the psycho Diva takes the fight to the outside. The two brawl on the floor. Beth throws Mickie up against the ringpost and charges her enemy, but Mickie moves at the last second and Beth runs full impact into the post! Mickie grabs a chair and begins hammering away on Beth. Mia grabs the chair, but Mickie slaps her to the floor! Mickie then grabs Beth by the hair and throws her back in the ring!

Mickie drags Beth over to the dumpster and opens the lid, but Mia tackles Mickie from behind! The fans erupt in MIA!!!” chants as the fan pounds Mickie with forearms. Mickie quickly turns the tables however and has Mia by the throat. As she begins choking the helpless fan, Beth tries to make a save, but Mickie simply shoves her to the mat.

Mickie continues to choke Mia, when suddenly all the remaining Smackdown Divas run out! Gail Kim pulls Mickie off of Mia and delivers a facebuster! The Bella twins pick her up and hit a double suplex, then hold her up for Eve to roundhouse kick! Maria slaps Mickie across the face, then the Bellas toss her to Layla, who hit’s neckbreaker!

The Bellas hold Mickie up once again, as Mia get’s to her feet, holding her throat still. Mia grabs Mickie’s face, looks her up and down, then….


PLANTS A KISS RIGHT ON HER LIPS!!!

The crowd goes nuts and the other Divas react with shock.

Mia then roundhouse kick’s Mickie!

The crowd is now on their feet, as Beth moves all the other women aside. She picks up the unconscious Mickie and carries her to the dumpster. The Bellas open the lid and Beth drops Mickie in it! Nikki and Brie slam the lid shut and Eve quickly puts a lock on the lid!

Justin Roberts: Here is your winner, Beth Phoenix!

The Divas all celebrate and hug Beth as the crowd gives her a standing ovation. As this is happening, many of the wrestlers from the back, including Jimmy Wang Yang, The Kung Fu Thrillas, Yoshi Tatsu, Carlito, and Primo, make their way out. They begin pushing the dumpster to the back, as the Divas all run to join them. Beth remains in the ring, soaking in the applause from the crowd.

Backstage, we see them push the dumpster down the hall. Eve runs ahead and opens the door, as the group approaches. When they get to the door, the men stop and step back, allowing the Divas to give the dumpster one last good shove out the door. Eve slams the door shut, as we close on a shot of the dumpster sitting in the parking lot.

[Deleted]

The Regal Regime begins!

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Mike Chioda.

Chioda walks out in a suit, as the crowd boos and catcalls. He enters the ring and takes the mic from Finkle.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a new era on ECW! Welcome to an ere where Extreme does not mean extreme violence. Where Extreme does not mean extreme blood loss. Where Extreme does not mean extreme graphic material. Gone are the days of chair shots and broken tables just for the sake of it. Gone are the days of Superstars bleeding to feed some old hag’s lust for blood. Gone are the days of people like Lance Hoyt committing criminal acts against innocent young women. It’s time for a change! And it starts with your NEW ECW General Manager!



























Ladies and gentlemen, William Regal!

Regal walks out to a loud chorus of boos from the crowd.

Josh: But he was fired!

”Was” apparently being the key word, Josh.

Regal enters and shakes hands with Chioda, who hands him the mic.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the beginning of the Regal Regime! From this point onward, ECW will be going in a new direction. A direction that will not rely on violence and weapons and gratuitous sex. Instead, this new direction will emphasize sportsmanship, rules, and discipline. And the changes begin immediately. First and foremost, the name of this show has to go. ‘ECW’ just has such a negative stigma that I do not wish to be associated with it any longer. From now on, this brand shall now be known as the Fight Club. And with the name change comes a new set of rules that will be enforced.

Rule number one. Matches will be fought within the confines of the ring. Should a wrestler leave the ring, they will have a ten count to get back in, or they will be disqualified.

Rule number two. Any wrestler who uses a choke or any other illegal hold, will have until the count of five to break the hold, or they will be disqualified.

Rule number three. Any wrestler who brings an illegal weapon into the ring will be immediately disqualified.

Rule number four. Any wrestler who interferes in another wrestler’s match will be suspended for one week and the wrestler they are interfering on the behalf of will be disqualified.

You may recognize most, if not all of those rules. The reason they sound familiar is because they are the rules that are typically enforced in a WRESTLING promotion.

Rule number five. Any wrestler who removes the protective mats around the ring will be immediately disqualified and suspended for one week.

Rule number six. Any wrestler who goes into the crowd for any reason whatsoever will be suspended for one week.

Rule number seven. Any wrestler who uses rude or foul language will be fined five thousand dollars, American.

Rule number eight. Any wrestler who performs any lewd or obscene acts will be fined ten thousand dollars, American.

Rule number nine. If for any reason, I or any other WCWWE Official is to believe that a wrestler has been involved in any kind of act that is prohibited by the laws of the city, state, country or province we are in, that wrestler will be immediately and indefinitely suspended and the proper authorities will be notified. This rule is directed mainly at you, Lance Hoyt.

Rule number ten, the final rule. I am the authority around here. I will be treated with proper respect. Any wrestlers who are unable to show me proper respect will quickly and immediately find themselves shut out of Championship opportunities until they decide to fall in line.

Now with that out of the way, I would like to move on to other matters. Next week, all three brands will be hosting tournaments to decide challengers for the three major Championships. The Fight Club has been given the Honour of hosting the tournament to decide the number one contender for the WCWWE World Championship.

I would now like to name The Fight Club’s representatives in each of these tournaments.

For the Tag Team Tournament, I have selected the following three teams:

Jamie Noble and Kidd “Kash”, The Pitbulls.

The next team will be… Lance Hoyt and Low Ki. But Mr. Hoyt, know this. You are being monitored very carefully. In your case, it is one strike and you are out, as you Americans would say.

As for the final team… Sheamus. You are one of ECW’s brightest stars and as such, you shall be rewarded. You and a partner of your choosing will be the third team in this tournament.

For the Women’s tournament, The Fight Club has been given only two spots, which will go to Ms. Michelle McCool and Ms. Rosa Mendes.

As for the World Championship Tournament, I will now announce our three representatives.

Drew McIntyre!

Evan Bourne!

And… Dolph Ziggler!

I trust all of you will represent the Fight Club well.

Well, that is just about it. I appreciate your attentiveness to the matters at hand. On behalf of myself, Mr. Chioda and the gentlemen at the announce table, Goodnight!

The show ends with Regal shaking hands with Chioda, then waving to the booing crowd as we fade out.