Post by Sweeter n' even more Sour on Feb 4, 2010 15:12:12 GMT -5
Mark Henry/Sebastian Slater def. Kung Fu Thrillas
Layla def. Beth Phoenix
Alicia Fox def. Mickie James
Shawn Michaels/Mike Knox def. Jimmy Wang Yang/Kane
Matt Striker def. The Miz
MVP def. John Morrison
CM Punk/Colt Cabana def. Carlito/Primo
Welcome to Tuesday Night Smackdown! What a show we…
Apparently General Manager Stephanie McMahon didn’t want to waste any time!
As many of you already know, I have been in a legal battle over discrimination in the work place with Brie and Nikki Bella. Now, I have not gotten an opportunity to speak with them directly. My lawyers have informed me that I am within my legal right to postpone any more legal meetings and/or hearings on the matter until these two are present, and we can discuss this face to face.
So Bella twins, what’s it going to be? Are you going to come out here…are you going to continue with this charade… Or are you ready to drop this and get back to business? I’m here… and I’m waiting…
*long wait*
*The Bellas’ lawyer walks out with no music. The crowd boos him as he comes down to the ring and enters.*
Ms. McMahon… You are correct, you are entitled to meet with my clients face to face… And what better way than in a public open forum… where anything said can be seen and heard by millions of witnesses, as well as recorded for later reference? So that is going to happen… right here in this very ring. *Cheers*
…But not tonight *BOOS*.
No, my clients are not ready to talk. But they assured me that in a week’s time, they will be more than happy to talk with you face to face. So next week on Smackdown, that is the time and place. Is this acceptable?
*Stephanie nods in agreement and peers at the lawyer as he turns to leave. Scene fades to commercial*
Mark Henry and Seb Slater are with Stan, discussing their match with the Kung Fu Thrillas
So, Henry and Slater, your first match as a unit sees you up against the former Extreme Tag Team Champions Kung Fu Thrillas. Thoughts?
Tonight, me and Henry are going to set a marker down. Me and Henry are the newest team, and we combine techinique with raw power. And...
We need a name.
What?
All the teams have one.
Well, do you have any ideas?
Sexual Chocolate
GOD NO
Errr.... Regular Chocolate?
Something serious please
Er... okay.. hmmm... what about... the.. the...
THE TWO GUYS WHO TAG WRESTLE!
(blank stare from Slater)
We'll think about this, but first we need to take care of Haas and Funaki.
Alright. Let's split them wigs!
That's it!
What?
We are.... THE WIG SPLITERS!!
I don't get it?
You don't have to Mark. But Haas and Naki will.
*Slater and Henry walk off as commericals play
First to the ring..
Mark Henry and Sebastian Slater… the Wig Splitters!
And their opponents
Mitsunaki Misawa & Kenta Kohasshi!
Haas tries to lift Henry up for a Go 2 Sleep… but ends up hurting his back. Henry laughs for a few moments then picks Haas up and hits the World’s strongest slam! Slater rushes in and hits a leg lariat on Funaki as Henry makes the cover…
1…
2…
3!!
Here are your winners… the Wig Splitters!!
Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome my guest at this time the WCWWE Women's Champion Alicia Fox
*Alicia bounces in and gives Joey a big hug which takes her my surprise*
HEY JOEY!! It's sooooooooo exciting to be on Smackdown, it's like Raw except everything's blue and we all know blue is the colour!!
Em yeah, if you say it is. So Alicia, last week on Smackdown Layla won a divas battle royal to become the number one contender for your belt. What are your thoughts?
Well it seems my predecessor for this championship had a few run ins with the wee toff herself. Somehow LaLa thought Katie and I had a bit of a lesbian thing going or something. I don't have a clue how she derived that idea, maybe it's cause she's English who knows? In fact is she English? She got a werid accent, sounds like a cat being strangled mixed with a high pitched squeak. Anyways, my thoughts on facing Layla at No Way Out. I can't afford to take anyone lightly especially when this lovely piece of gold is on the line. LaLa is no exception, she has a vicious catty mean streak that comes across in the ring. I'll be sure to watch plenty of footage and come up with a game plan. By no means will it be easy but as champion you got to expect that, you have to fight tooth and nail everytime you go out there.
Well well well, will you look what the kitty dragged in!
Layla walks on screen, hand on her hip and she gets in Alicia's face.
The kitty dragged in her lesbian lover Alicia Fox!
O, speak of the devil, hey we haven't met I'm Alicia*extends hand for a handshake*
*Layla looks her up and down, turns away for a second and rolls her eyes then turns back. Layla shakes her hand.*
Oh hey Alicia Fox! You're the girl who defeated Katie Lea at the PPV last week. You know I watched that match with SO much interest and I was SO impressed. I mean, Katie Lea had been champ for SO long, and you like SO cleanly beat her! Congratulations Alicia!
Hmmm do I detect a hint of sarcasm perhaps. Ya know I saw how ya treated Katie when she was here. If I were you I'd maybe show the champ a little bit more respect or you might regret it at No Way Out. Now why don't you run off to your loser boyfriend Mizzy or whatever he's called and let Joey and I finish our mature conversation
No no Alicia, you've got me all wrong! Now I'll readily admit... I was a bit mean to Katie over the past couple of weeks. And like... I can't go back and fix that. It's done and I'm sorry for it. I have like... total 100% respect for you Leesh. I know we're opponents at No Way Out, but I hope we can be friends too. And that's why I'm going to let those comments about my Mike go. I know I've been a cow, and I know that's the only reason you said that. So... friends?
*Thinks for a minute*
Ya know that's a really nice thing to say. It's so nice to see someone stand up and admit when they're wrong. Thank you Layla. I'm sorry I was so mean about your boyfriend, he does have a cute ass after all. Yea I'd like it if we were friends
*Alicia opens her arms out for a hug, and Layla accepts the hug. Layla looks disgusted to be hugging Alicia, but when they stop hugging she has a big smile on her face*
He certainly does have a cute ass Alicia. He certainly does... but like... anyways... I know tonight we're not in the same match. We've both got our own opponents to deal with and all... but how about next week we team up!? Wouldn't that be cool?!
Yea, that's a great idea next week it will be me and you against, against... well against two other people. Should be great fun!
As Mike would say... AWESOME!
Hey, I got to go get ready for my match and I'm sure you'll need to go prepare for yours too. So good luck with your match tonight Alicia! I'll see you around!
Layla walks off. Alicia yells after her
Good luck to you too
*She then turns round with a big grin on her face to Joey*
I love making new friends
*Alicia skips away singing 'You've got a friend in me'*
First to the ring…
Layla!
And her opponent…
Beth Phoenix!
Beth locks in a crossface in the middle of the ring. Layla claws at the mat trying to get to the ropes, but can’t move an inch. Beth really puts pressure on, hoping to make layla tap out quickly. But Layla hangs on. Beth screams at her to tap out, but layla refuses.
Finally Beth gives up and releases the hold. She picks Layla up and tries to irish whip her into the corner… but layla reverses it! Corner clothesline!
Beth staggers out from the corner. Layla quickly enters the ring and hits a hairtrap neckbreaker! Then she locks in the Triangle Choke!
Beth struggles, but she can’t get any air. She’s forced to tap out!
Here is your winner… Layla!!
Mickie James is in the hair and makeup area when John Morrison walks up to her.
Hey Mickie.
Oh, hi John.
Sorry we didn‘t really get to talk last week.
Oh that‘s OK. I know how busy you‘ve been since winning the Tag Team Titles and everything.
Yeah. That call was just very important. I had to take it.
Oh I understand.
So I see you‘ve got Alicia Fox tonight.
Yeah. It‘s so cool that I get to be her very first opponent on Smackdown!
I‘m sure it is. Y‘know, I once arm wrestled a fox.
Really?
Nah. *Laughs*
Oh. Haha.
A stagehand walks up to them.
Stagehand: Mr. Morrison, I’m sorry to interrupt, but Stephanie wishes to see you.
*sigh* The life of a Tag Team Champion never ends. See ya later Mickie.
Bye John!
Mickie smiles as she watches him leave.
First to the ring…
WCWWE Women’s Champion… Alica Fox!
And her opponent…
Mickie James!
Mickie goes for the MickDT… but when she jumps, Alicia breaks her grip. Mickie lands on her feet, but is quickly met with a kick to the gut… AX KICK!
1..
2..
3!!
Here is your winner.. Alicia Fox!
First to the ring…
Shawn Michaels and Mike Knox!
*HBK grabs a mic*
So, I hear Colt Cabono or whatever his name whining about not wanting a shot at the United States Title. Just another third-rate idiot thinking he's more important than the belt because he's gotten a good look at the ceiling from the top of the card instead of the bottom.
Well, kid, since the name on that title just happened to be Shawn Michaels up until a few weeks ago, that makes it the most important title in the world. So if you really don't want a shot, ol' HBK would be happy to take it off your hands. I mean, gotta do something until Hunter gets back from his vacatio...........I mean, "crippling injury".
*HBK gives an over-exaggerated wink to the camera.*
But tonight, me and the big man here get saddled with a tag match against Kane and.........some little guy I've never even heard of. Now I've beaten Kane so many times that if I tried to count 'em all off, we'd be here until next Thursday. And as for the little guy......again, no idea who he is, so he must not be any good.
Boys, I'd rather not waste too much of my valuable time with you two losers, so just get out here and we can end this quickly.
And their opponents…
Jimmy Wang Yang and Kane!
Well, HBK hascalled out Colt Cabana and Triple H… and made a claim on CM Punk’s US title belt. He appears to not be worried about the matchup here tonight, but he better not count out Smackdown’s oddest couple just yet!
Knox and Kane trade blows back and forth, but kane finally gets the upperhand and backs Knox up to the ropes. Irish whip… Clothesline by both men! Both men are down!
Each is crawling to their corner… Knox makes it first… but just barely… Yang gets the tag and goes to the top rope… He launches himself… SUPERKICK!
1..
2..
3!!
Here are your winners… HBK and Knox!
After the match, HBK is trying to celebrate with Knox, telling him to raise his hand. Knox raises both hands, then HBK signals to only hold up one hand. HBK then backs up into the corner to set up the high five like in the past with Diesel. Right as he’s about to make the jump…
*Shawn looks at the entryway with a worried expression… but when Triple H doesn’t come down the ramp he looks around at the audience and instructs Knox to do the same… expecting Triple H to enter thru the crowd. Just then Triple H is shown on the titantron*
Oh Shawn Michaels..You are lucky that I am not in that arena tonight. I got sent by my good wife to do some promotional work. But I want you to know that next week I will see you in that ring. The time for running away from me is gone, Shawn. Soon enough we are going to meet one on one. And when we do for you, my good friend..There will be No Way Out!
*The camera fades.*
John Cena comes to the ring and takes a mic.
Last week I did exactly what I said I was going to do. I went into that ring, I beat Colt Cabana and I earned a World Title match. You see it's the same story every year. Once the Royal Rumble is done with, everyone looks ahead to the Road To Wrestlemania, overlooking that little bump in the road called No Way Out. A lot can happen between now and Wrestlemania XXVI. Dolph Ziggler, I know you're watching and I want you to think about that. Because when you stand the ring and you look across at the WCWWE Champion, you will be looking into the eyes, not of Vladimir Kozlov but of John Cena.
Now let me introduce you to a man who I have personally invited here, the current WCWWE champion and the man I am going to beat at No Way Out, Vladimir Kozlov.
Kozlov walks out, carrying the WCWWE World Title belt over his shoulder. He grabs a mic.
John Cena. So we finally meet again. It's been WAY too long. Almost a year, am I right?
A year? Yeah, it'd be about that. You've done well for yourself. Look at you, WCWWE Champion. I know it's nearly three months late but congratulations on that, by the way.
Thank you. And I suppose congratulations are in order for you as well. Now you get to see first hand just how much better I've gotten since we were last together.
You know you could say you owe that title to me. since I brought you to Raw. You could say that, but I know that eventually you would have won that title no matter which brand you're on. I know how good you are, Vladimir. There happens to be a very tiny little problem for you. As good as you are, I'm better.
You're better than me? Really John? How many World Champions have you beaten on Smackdown recently, John? Because last time I checked, I defeated every World Champion on Raw, as well as the last two from Fight Club. So what does that say to you?
That says you are a worthy competitor. That you deserve that title. That isn't in dispute. But you think your list of scalps is that impressive? You want me to list everyone I've beaten? We don't have all night. Hell, I can stand here all night and list the things I've done that you haven't. Royal Rumble winner. Main evented Wrestlemania four years in a row. Three time United States champion, three time WCWWE champion, held the WCWWE title for thirteen months straight and only lost the title due to injury. You get the picture?
Well John, I'm certainly not trying to discredit anything you've done. If you weren't a great competitor, you wouldn't be here right now. Same as me.
You see that's the thing. We are so similar and yet so different. I come out here as the face of WCWWE. Movies, albums, TV guest shots, I've done it all. But that doesn't concern you. You're not interested in any of that. You don't care if you pop ratings or sell tickets. You just go into that ring and take care of business. And honestly, I admire that. But don't be confused. I have beaten just about everybody there is to beat. And I didn't do it to sell t-shirts or wristbands. That championship is not a simple prop to me, a tool to charge more for autographs. That is my life! It is the one thing that defines who I am! At No Way Out I will come at you full force. Not because I will get a better payday as WCWWE champion, not because it will get me juicier movie roles, not because it will sell more merchandise, but for the right to call myself the best today. That is who I am. Not a cash cow, but the man by who everyone else in this company is measured. That is who John Cena is and at No Way Out you better be ready for him.
Kozlov smiles.
John, that's exactly what I want to hear.
Cena smiles too.
Well that's great. Come February 19th it'll all go down. You'll try your damnedest to keep that title and I'll try my damnedest to take it. All I can say is this.
Good luck.
Cena leaves the ring and walks back up the aisle. Kopzlov watches him leave, then holds up the belt before making his own exit.
First to the ring
Matt Striker!
And his opponent…
½ of the Unified Tag Team Champions The Miz!
Miz nails the mizaster..
1..
2..
3!
Here is your winner… The Miz!
*John Cena is shown backstage with his bag making his way out of the arena. He stops to grab a bottled water. Right as he starts to take a drink, he’s attacked from behind! Its Carlito and Primo! They both beat down on Cena. Then Primo holds Cena down while Carlito goes to grab a chair.
But Cena begins to fight back, kicking Carlito in the gut, sending him back and dropping the chair. Then powering out of Primo’s hold. He gets up quickly and pushes Primo up against the wall. He knees him in the gut, then looks to be trying to slam him to the ground… but before he has a chance to, Carlito comes back and hits a backstabber!
Carlito checks on Primo as they both look down at Cena, who’s holding his back in pain.*
What are they doing? Why would Carlito and Primo attack John Cena like this? WHAT!?! We have to go to commercial!? I guess we’ll be right back. Don’t change that channel!!
First to the ring…
½ of the Unified Tag Team Champions …. John Morrison!
And his opponent…
Montel Vontavious Porter… M…V..P!!!
Morrison Nails a swinging neckbreaker, then drags MVP over to the corner. He sets up starship pain! MVP moved out of the way! Morrison uses the ropes to get back to his feet, but right as he turns, he is met by the Drive By Kick!
MVP looks please with himself and pulls Morrison up and puts him on the top turnbuckle. He climbs the rope and drops Morrison down with a sidewalk slam!
1..
2..
Kickout!
MVP quickly pops up and gets Morrison to his feet, he irish whips him… but Morrison jumps on the 2nd rope… FLYING CHUCK!
Both men are down! The referee starts the count…
At around 6 they both begin to stir and get to their feet at the same time… MVP tries to irish whip Morrison… but it was reversed! Morrison with a back bodydrop… no!! MVP stopped himself… PLAYMAKER!
1..
2..
3!!
Here is your winner… MVP !!!
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the new United States Champion, CM Punk!
Good to be back on Smackdown. Been a couple of weeks since I wrestled on this show.
Tonight, you team up with Colt Cabana to face The Colons. Given that Colt eliminated you in the Royal Rumble and that he will be your opponent at No Way Out, do you feel that you will be able to co-exist as a team tonight?
This might sound cocky on my part but I believe we can. Before the Rumble, me and Colt had agreed to work together with the best man coming out on top. That would have happened if I wasn't for a certain fellow called Dolph Ziggler. Yeah, Colt chucked me out but if I had the chance, I probably would have done the exact same thing. I can look at that night and say there were two men better than me or I can look at that night and say I was better than twenty seven other men. And out of me, Colt and Ziggler, I'm currently the only one with championship gold and I don't plan on losing it at No Way Out despite my friendship with Colt. I understand him being mad at not getting to face Vladimir Kozlov but I hope he brings his A game and that we tear the house down. At the end of the day, one of the Saints is going to WrestleMania with a title. I damn sure hope it's me but if it's Colt, I'm fine with that too because I know I will make history at WrestleMania one way or another.
As for tonight, The Second City Saints have beaten Carlito and Primo before so I'm not too worried but I've learnt never to overlook an opponent. Colons, I have a great amount of respect for your father, Carlos. However, it's a different story with you two. I don't have a problem with you. It's just that, I haven't seen either of you do something that warrants any respect from me. Who knows? Maybe you'll prove me wrong tonight. My only addiction is competition so I'm not a betting man but when you look in that ring, it seems pretty clear which side is gonna win and which side will be at Mania. Then again, the road can often take a strange turn. You guys just better hope I don't see you on it again after tonight. Tick tock, tick tock, it's clobberin' time.
*Joey Styles and Colt Cabana are seen in WCWWE Studios, sitting in chairs that face one another.*
Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time, Colt Cabana. Colt, after Smackdown last Friday, you were visibly upset after your loss to John Cena-
Visibly upset Joey? I was “visibly upset”? No Joey, I wasn’t “visibly upset”, I was righteously pissed off. I was pissed off, not only because I had to EARN the spot that I thought I had already done many times over, but because I lost it to Yo MTV Raps! out of all people. Nevermind the fact that I’ve gone to a draw with the WCWWE Champion himself, I’ve been the last Smackdown representative in practically anything tri-branded over the last month or so; no, forget all that. I have to earn a title shot. That in and of itself is bullshit.
And I’ve heard those idiotic fans out there saying, “Well, Colt has to redeem himself after losing the Rumble”. Really? I have to “redeem myself” after eight months of going from comedy jobber to legitimate threat in the main event? Colt Cabana has to “redeem” himself after being the LAST man eliminated, the last Smackdown wrestler eliminated in the Royal Rumble? After proving he’s Smackdown’s “Ace” once again, Colt still has to redeem himself because he just couldn’t get the job done? No, he doesn’t. Because I’ve proven that I’m better than Yo MTV Raps! for eight solid months, yet he has a shot at the WCWWE World Title while I have to settle for second best.
And, if you look at my career here in WCWWE, that’s been the recurring theme. Colt Cabana, Smackdown’s “Ace”, always just… second best. I was the runner-up in the Rumble, I could only make it to the semi-finals of the World Heavyweight Tournament DESPITE being the last Smackdown representative, I couldn’t win the United States Title, I couldn’t defeat The Cult at Survivor Series… no matter how hard I try, no matter how much effort I put in, no matter how much I WANT IT… Colt Cabana is just second best.
On Smackdown Friday, I had an opportunity to reverse the curse. I had the chance become the #1 Contender to the WCWWE Title, I had the opportunity to right the wrong that was allowed to occur at the Royal Rumble when Dolph FUCKING Ziggler eliminated me. And who did I have to beat, who was the man chosen to be considered one of top contenders to the most prestigious belt in this company? John Cena, who has spent the last few months being Mickie James’ bitch and following that up with doing, survey says… jack shit. Yeah, that makes loads of sense.
I’ve worked my ass off for almost 8 months. I’ve fought damn near everyone on the Smackdown roster at least once, I’ve fought for the US Title once or twice, and ask anyone here, they’ll tell you that Colt Cabana will give you one hell of a fight. YET, the only accomplishments I can claim are Tag Team Title runs, both of which were won from AND lost to John Morrison and The Miz. John Cena, on the other hand, is a former WCWWE Champion who has headlined Wrestlemania before. He’s seen the bright lights, he’s been on “The Grandest Stage Of ‘Em All”… he’s been there. I haven’t. And once again, he’s given the chance to headline WrestleMania, while I have to sit back and watch that no-talent bastard take MY spot.
So no Joey, I’m not “visibly upset”. I’m righteously pissed the fuck off. Because I had to earn something I should’ve been given, because I lost it to a man who only worked for that shot for one month while I busted my ASS for eight straight months, because once again I have to be content with being second best once again in my WCWWE career.
Well Colt, what about the United States Title?
What about it? Punk won the title off of the Has Been Kid who did jack crap to earn that title in the first place.
Well, you have a shot at winning that title at No Way Out.
Ah yes. The consolation prize for not being good enough to beat Yo MTV Raps! on Friday. I spoke with our “esteemed” General Manager Stephanie McMahon, and I am contractually obliged to challenge for that title, or I’ll be in “violation of my contract”. Basically, I challenge for that title or I’m fired, all because that match was basically a “Loser gets a US Title Shot”. After all, this company can’t go back on its word, no matter how bass ackwards it may be.
So I guess we’re gonna see Punk/Cabana once again, despite the fact that we’re among the best tag teams in this company and miles ahead in terms of talent in our brand. The Second City Saints do battle against one another, which I suppose will sell tickets to that shoddy excuse for a PPV.
Colt, I really wouldn’t talk ill of the company-
The company that continually screws me and countless others? The company that fires workers because the writers “don’t have anything” for them? This is the company that I’m supposed to sing praises about?
Spare me Styles. Excuse me if I don’t drop down to my hands and knees and worship this bastard of a company. The fact is, unless they can change a little thing called the Bill of Rights, I have freedom of speech and therefore cannot be fired of what I say.
So, once again…
*Cabana flashes a faux smile at the camera.*
Fuck you. Fuck you Yo MTV Raps!, fuck you Stephanie McMahon for not giving me that opportunity after I had proven I was the best candidate for that title shot, and fuck you WCWWE “Universe” for proving you’re nothing but sheep following the latest “Superstar”, not wrestler, of the month.
We’re done here Joey.
*Cabana rips off his microphone cord before storming off the set.*
First to the ring
United States Champion… C..M..Punk!
And his tag team partner…
Colt Cabana!
And their opponents…
Primo and Carlito… the Colons!
These two jumped Cena earlier tonight, but we have yet to be given a reason why. But it will have to wait as they have a tough match starting… right now!
Colt and Carlito trade blows in the middle of the ring. Just then, Colt swings, but Carlito ducks… He goes for the Backstabber! But Punk holds Colt up! And Carltio goes crashing to the mat.
Primo rushes in to help, but is cut off by a clothesline from Colt. Punk enters the ring and lifts Primo up… Go 2 Sleep! But Primo is still on his feet! Colt 45!
Carlito comes to, and both Punk and Colt rush him… but he slides out of the ring and starts making his way back up the ramp, pointing to his head about how smart he was.
Just then the crowd goes nuts… Its John Cena! He grabs Carlito by the trunks and hair and drags him back to the ring. He throws him in to the waiting arms of Colt and Punk… Go 2 Sleep! Colt 45!!
1..
2..
3!!
Here are your winners… Colt and CM Punk!
Colt leaves the ring and makes his way to the back without saying a word. Cena keeps his distance and enters the ring as Punk leaves.
Cena gets in Carlito’s face and gives him the “you can’t see me” sign. 5-Knuckle Shuffle! Carlito staggers back to his feet… FU! Cena just stares down at Carilto, then notices Primo trying to crawl out of the ring. Just as he was about to escape… cena grabs onto one of his legs and drags him back into the middle of the ring and locks in the STFU!
Primo starts tapping like crazy, but his brother is out of commission and there is no one there to save him. Cena holds the move for what seems like forever before finally releasing it. Hit music hits and he looks down at the carnage as the show comes to a close.
Layla def. Beth Phoenix
Alicia Fox def. Mickie James
Shawn Michaels/Mike Knox def. Jimmy Wang Yang/Kane
Matt Striker def. The Miz
MVP def. John Morrison
CM Punk/Colt Cabana def. Carlito/Primo
Welcome to Tuesday Night Smackdown! What a show we…
Apparently General Manager Stephanie McMahon didn’t want to waste any time!
As many of you already know, I have been in a legal battle over discrimination in the work place with Brie and Nikki Bella. Now, I have not gotten an opportunity to speak with them directly. My lawyers have informed me that I am within my legal right to postpone any more legal meetings and/or hearings on the matter until these two are present, and we can discuss this face to face.
So Bella twins, what’s it going to be? Are you going to come out here…are you going to continue with this charade… Or are you ready to drop this and get back to business? I’m here… and I’m waiting…
*long wait*
*The Bellas’ lawyer walks out with no music. The crowd boos him as he comes down to the ring and enters.*
Ms. McMahon… You are correct, you are entitled to meet with my clients face to face… And what better way than in a public open forum… where anything said can be seen and heard by millions of witnesses, as well as recorded for later reference? So that is going to happen… right here in this very ring. *Cheers*
…But not tonight *BOOS*.
No, my clients are not ready to talk. But they assured me that in a week’s time, they will be more than happy to talk with you face to face. So next week on Smackdown, that is the time and place. Is this acceptable?
*Stephanie nods in agreement and peers at the lawyer as he turns to leave. Scene fades to commercial*
Mark Henry and Seb Slater are with Stan, discussing their match with the Kung Fu Thrillas
So, Henry and Slater, your first match as a unit sees you up against the former Extreme Tag Team Champions Kung Fu Thrillas. Thoughts?
Tonight, me and Henry are going to set a marker down. Me and Henry are the newest team, and we combine techinique with raw power. And...
We need a name.
What?
All the teams have one.
Well, do you have any ideas?
Sexual Chocolate
GOD NO
Errr.... Regular Chocolate?
Something serious please
Er... okay.. hmmm... what about... the.. the...
THE TWO GUYS WHO TAG WRESTLE!
(blank stare from Slater)
We'll think about this, but first we need to take care of Haas and Funaki.
Alright. Let's split them wigs!
That's it!
What?
We are.... THE WIG SPLITERS!!
I don't get it?
You don't have to Mark. But Haas and Naki will.
*Slater and Henry walk off as commericals play
First to the ring..
Mark Henry and Sebastian Slater… the Wig Splitters!
And their opponents
Mitsunaki Misawa & Kenta Kohasshi!
Mark Henry/Sebastian Slater(Wig Splitters) vs Mitsunaki Misawa & Kenta Kohasshi(Kung Fu Thrillas)
First to 3
10 Minutes
[/center]First to 3
10 Minutes
Haas tries to lift Henry up for a Go 2 Sleep… but ends up hurting his back. Henry laughs for a few moments then picks Haas up and hits the World’s strongest slam! Slater rushes in and hits a leg lariat on Funaki as Henry makes the cover…
1…
2…
3!!
Here are your winners… the Wig Splitters!!
Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome my guest at this time the WCWWE Women's Champion Alicia Fox
*Alicia bounces in and gives Joey a big hug which takes her my surprise*
HEY JOEY!! It's sooooooooo exciting to be on Smackdown, it's like Raw except everything's blue and we all know blue is the colour!!
Em yeah, if you say it is. So Alicia, last week on Smackdown Layla won a divas battle royal to become the number one contender for your belt. What are your thoughts?
Well it seems my predecessor for this championship had a few run ins with the wee toff herself. Somehow LaLa thought Katie and I had a bit of a lesbian thing going or something. I don't have a clue how she derived that idea, maybe it's cause she's English who knows? In fact is she English? She got a werid accent, sounds like a cat being strangled mixed with a high pitched squeak. Anyways, my thoughts on facing Layla at No Way Out. I can't afford to take anyone lightly especially when this lovely piece of gold is on the line. LaLa is no exception, she has a vicious catty mean streak that comes across in the ring. I'll be sure to watch plenty of footage and come up with a game plan. By no means will it be easy but as champion you got to expect that, you have to fight tooth and nail everytime you go out there.
Well well well, will you look what the kitty dragged in!
Layla walks on screen, hand on her hip and she gets in Alicia's face.
The kitty dragged in her lesbian lover Alicia Fox!
O, speak of the devil, hey we haven't met I'm Alicia*extends hand for a handshake*
*Layla looks her up and down, turns away for a second and rolls her eyes then turns back. Layla shakes her hand.*
Oh hey Alicia Fox! You're the girl who defeated Katie Lea at the PPV last week. You know I watched that match with SO much interest and I was SO impressed. I mean, Katie Lea had been champ for SO long, and you like SO cleanly beat her! Congratulations Alicia!
Hmmm do I detect a hint of sarcasm perhaps. Ya know I saw how ya treated Katie when she was here. If I were you I'd maybe show the champ a little bit more respect or you might regret it at No Way Out. Now why don't you run off to your loser boyfriend Mizzy or whatever he's called and let Joey and I finish our mature conversation
No no Alicia, you've got me all wrong! Now I'll readily admit... I was a bit mean to Katie over the past couple of weeks. And like... I can't go back and fix that. It's done and I'm sorry for it. I have like... total 100% respect for you Leesh. I know we're opponents at No Way Out, but I hope we can be friends too. And that's why I'm going to let those comments about my Mike go. I know I've been a cow, and I know that's the only reason you said that. So... friends?
*Thinks for a minute*
Ya know that's a really nice thing to say. It's so nice to see someone stand up and admit when they're wrong. Thank you Layla. I'm sorry I was so mean about your boyfriend, he does have a cute ass after all. Yea I'd like it if we were friends
*Alicia opens her arms out for a hug, and Layla accepts the hug. Layla looks disgusted to be hugging Alicia, but when they stop hugging she has a big smile on her face*
He certainly does have a cute ass Alicia. He certainly does... but like... anyways... I know tonight we're not in the same match. We've both got our own opponents to deal with and all... but how about next week we team up!? Wouldn't that be cool?!
Yea, that's a great idea next week it will be me and you against, against... well against two other people. Should be great fun!
As Mike would say... AWESOME!
Hey, I got to go get ready for my match and I'm sure you'll need to go prepare for yours too. So good luck with your match tonight Alicia! I'll see you around!
Layla walks off. Alicia yells after her
Good luck to you too
*She then turns round with a big grin on her face to Joey*
I love making new friends
*Alicia skips away singing 'You've got a friend in me'*
First to the ring…
Layla!
And her opponent…
Beth Phoenix!
Layla vs Beth Phoenix
First to 3
10 Minutes
[/center]First to 3
10 Minutes
Beth locks in a crossface in the middle of the ring. Layla claws at the mat trying to get to the ropes, but can’t move an inch. Beth really puts pressure on, hoping to make layla tap out quickly. But Layla hangs on. Beth screams at her to tap out, but layla refuses.
Finally Beth gives up and releases the hold. She picks Layla up and tries to irish whip her into the corner… but layla reverses it! Corner clothesline!
Beth staggers out from the corner. Layla quickly enters the ring and hits a hairtrap neckbreaker! Then she locks in the Triangle Choke!
Beth struggles, but she can’t get any air. She’s forced to tap out!
Here is your winner… Layla!!
Mickie James is in the hair and makeup area when John Morrison walks up to her.
Hey Mickie.
Oh, hi John.
Sorry we didn‘t really get to talk last week.
Oh that‘s OK. I know how busy you‘ve been since winning the Tag Team Titles and everything.
Yeah. That call was just very important. I had to take it.
Oh I understand.
So I see you‘ve got Alicia Fox tonight.
Yeah. It‘s so cool that I get to be her very first opponent on Smackdown!
I‘m sure it is. Y‘know, I once arm wrestled a fox.
Really?
Nah. *Laughs*
Oh. Haha.
A stagehand walks up to them.
Stagehand: Mr. Morrison, I’m sorry to interrupt, but Stephanie wishes to see you.
*sigh* The life of a Tag Team Champion never ends. See ya later Mickie.
Bye John!
Mickie smiles as she watches him leave.
First to the ring…
WCWWE Women’s Champion… Alica Fox!
And her opponent…
Mickie James!
Alicia Fox vs Mickie James
First to 3
10 Minutes
[/center]First to 3
10 Minutes
Mickie goes for the MickDT… but when she jumps, Alicia breaks her grip. Mickie lands on her feet, but is quickly met with a kick to the gut… AX KICK!
1..
2..
3!!
Here is your winner.. Alicia Fox!
First to the ring…
Shawn Michaels and Mike Knox!
*HBK grabs a mic*
So, I hear Colt Cabono or whatever his name whining about not wanting a shot at the United States Title. Just another third-rate idiot thinking he's more important than the belt because he's gotten a good look at the ceiling from the top of the card instead of the bottom.
Well, kid, since the name on that title just happened to be Shawn Michaels up until a few weeks ago, that makes it the most important title in the world. So if you really don't want a shot, ol' HBK would be happy to take it off your hands. I mean, gotta do something until Hunter gets back from his vacatio...........I mean, "crippling injury".
*HBK gives an over-exaggerated wink to the camera.*
But tonight, me and the big man here get saddled with a tag match against Kane and.........some little guy I've never even heard of. Now I've beaten Kane so many times that if I tried to count 'em all off, we'd be here until next Thursday. And as for the little guy......again, no idea who he is, so he must not be any good.
Boys, I'd rather not waste too much of my valuable time with you two losers, so just get out here and we can end this quickly.
And their opponents…
Jimmy Wang Yang and Kane!
Well, HBK hascalled out Colt Cabana and Triple H… and made a claim on CM Punk’s US title belt. He appears to not be worried about the matchup here tonight, but he better not count out Smackdown’s oddest couple just yet!
Shawn Michaels/Mike Knox vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Kane
First to 3
10 Minutes
[/center]First to 3
10 Minutes
Knox and Kane trade blows back and forth, but kane finally gets the upperhand and backs Knox up to the ropes. Irish whip… Clothesline by both men! Both men are down!
Each is crawling to their corner… Knox makes it first… but just barely… Yang gets the tag and goes to the top rope… He launches himself… SUPERKICK!
1..
2..
3!!
Here are your winners… HBK and Knox!
After the match, HBK is trying to celebrate with Knox, telling him to raise his hand. Knox raises both hands, then HBK signals to only hold up one hand. HBK then backs up into the corner to set up the high five like in the past with Diesel. Right as he’s about to make the jump…
*Shawn looks at the entryway with a worried expression… but when Triple H doesn’t come down the ramp he looks around at the audience and instructs Knox to do the same… expecting Triple H to enter thru the crowd. Just then Triple H is shown on the titantron*
Oh Shawn Michaels..You are lucky that I am not in that arena tonight. I got sent by my good wife to do some promotional work. But I want you to know that next week I will see you in that ring. The time for running away from me is gone, Shawn. Soon enough we are going to meet one on one. And when we do for you, my good friend..There will be No Way Out!
*The camera fades.*
John Cena comes to the ring and takes a mic.
Last week I did exactly what I said I was going to do. I went into that ring, I beat Colt Cabana and I earned a World Title match. You see it's the same story every year. Once the Royal Rumble is done with, everyone looks ahead to the Road To Wrestlemania, overlooking that little bump in the road called No Way Out. A lot can happen between now and Wrestlemania XXVI. Dolph Ziggler, I know you're watching and I want you to think about that. Because when you stand the ring and you look across at the WCWWE Champion, you will be looking into the eyes, not of Vladimir Kozlov but of John Cena.
Now let me introduce you to a man who I have personally invited here, the current WCWWE champion and the man I am going to beat at No Way Out, Vladimir Kozlov.
Kozlov walks out, carrying the WCWWE World Title belt over his shoulder. He grabs a mic.
John Cena. So we finally meet again. It's been WAY too long. Almost a year, am I right?
A year? Yeah, it'd be about that. You've done well for yourself. Look at you, WCWWE Champion. I know it's nearly three months late but congratulations on that, by the way.
Thank you. And I suppose congratulations are in order for you as well. Now you get to see first hand just how much better I've gotten since we were last together.
You know you could say you owe that title to me. since I brought you to Raw. You could say that, but I know that eventually you would have won that title no matter which brand you're on. I know how good you are, Vladimir. There happens to be a very tiny little problem for you. As good as you are, I'm better.
You're better than me? Really John? How many World Champions have you beaten on Smackdown recently, John? Because last time I checked, I defeated every World Champion on Raw, as well as the last two from Fight Club. So what does that say to you?
That says you are a worthy competitor. That you deserve that title. That isn't in dispute. But you think your list of scalps is that impressive? You want me to list everyone I've beaten? We don't have all night. Hell, I can stand here all night and list the things I've done that you haven't. Royal Rumble winner. Main evented Wrestlemania four years in a row. Three time United States champion, three time WCWWE champion, held the WCWWE title for thirteen months straight and only lost the title due to injury. You get the picture?
Well John, I'm certainly not trying to discredit anything you've done. If you weren't a great competitor, you wouldn't be here right now. Same as me.
You see that's the thing. We are so similar and yet so different. I come out here as the face of WCWWE. Movies, albums, TV guest shots, I've done it all. But that doesn't concern you. You're not interested in any of that. You don't care if you pop ratings or sell tickets. You just go into that ring and take care of business. And honestly, I admire that. But don't be confused. I have beaten just about everybody there is to beat. And I didn't do it to sell t-shirts or wristbands. That championship is not a simple prop to me, a tool to charge more for autographs. That is my life! It is the one thing that defines who I am! At No Way Out I will come at you full force. Not because I will get a better payday as WCWWE champion, not because it will get me juicier movie roles, not because it will sell more merchandise, but for the right to call myself the best today. That is who I am. Not a cash cow, but the man by who everyone else in this company is measured. That is who John Cena is and at No Way Out you better be ready for him.
Kozlov smiles.
John, that's exactly what I want to hear.
Cena smiles too.
Well that's great. Come February 19th it'll all go down. You'll try your damnedest to keep that title and I'll try my damnedest to take it. All I can say is this.
Good luck.
Cena leaves the ring and walks back up the aisle. Kopzlov watches him leave, then holds up the belt before making his own exit.
First to the ring
Matt Striker!
And his opponent…
½ of the Unified Tag Team Champions The Miz!
Matt Striker vs The Miz
First to 3
10 Minutes
[/center]First to 3
10 Minutes
Miz nails the mizaster..
1..
2..
3!
Here is your winner… The Miz!
*John Cena is shown backstage with his bag making his way out of the arena. He stops to grab a bottled water. Right as he starts to take a drink, he’s attacked from behind! Its Carlito and Primo! They both beat down on Cena. Then Primo holds Cena down while Carlito goes to grab a chair.
But Cena begins to fight back, kicking Carlito in the gut, sending him back and dropping the chair. Then powering out of Primo’s hold. He gets up quickly and pushes Primo up against the wall. He knees him in the gut, then looks to be trying to slam him to the ground… but before he has a chance to, Carlito comes back and hits a backstabber!
Carlito checks on Primo as they both look down at Cena, who’s holding his back in pain.*
What are they doing? Why would Carlito and Primo attack John Cena like this? WHAT!?! We have to go to commercial!? I guess we’ll be right back. Don’t change that channel!!
First to the ring…
½ of the Unified Tag Team Champions …. John Morrison!
And his opponent…
Montel Vontavious Porter… M…V..P!!!
John Morrison vs MVP
First to 3
10 Minutes
[/center]First to 3
10 Minutes
Morrison Nails a swinging neckbreaker, then drags MVP over to the corner. He sets up starship pain! MVP moved out of the way! Morrison uses the ropes to get back to his feet, but right as he turns, he is met by the Drive By Kick!
MVP looks please with himself and pulls Morrison up and puts him on the top turnbuckle. He climbs the rope and drops Morrison down with a sidewalk slam!
1..
2..
Kickout!
MVP quickly pops up and gets Morrison to his feet, he irish whips him… but Morrison jumps on the 2nd rope… FLYING CHUCK!
Both men are down! The referee starts the count…
At around 6 they both begin to stir and get to their feet at the same time… MVP tries to irish whip Morrison… but it was reversed! Morrison with a back bodydrop… no!! MVP stopped himself… PLAYMAKER!
1..
2..
3!!
Here is your winner… MVP !!!
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the new United States Champion, CM Punk!
Good to be back on Smackdown. Been a couple of weeks since I wrestled on this show.
Tonight, you team up with Colt Cabana to face The Colons. Given that Colt eliminated you in the Royal Rumble and that he will be your opponent at No Way Out, do you feel that you will be able to co-exist as a team tonight?
This might sound cocky on my part but I believe we can. Before the Rumble, me and Colt had agreed to work together with the best man coming out on top. That would have happened if I wasn't for a certain fellow called Dolph Ziggler. Yeah, Colt chucked me out but if I had the chance, I probably would have done the exact same thing. I can look at that night and say there were two men better than me or I can look at that night and say I was better than twenty seven other men. And out of me, Colt and Ziggler, I'm currently the only one with championship gold and I don't plan on losing it at No Way Out despite my friendship with Colt. I understand him being mad at not getting to face Vladimir Kozlov but I hope he brings his A game and that we tear the house down. At the end of the day, one of the Saints is going to WrestleMania with a title. I damn sure hope it's me but if it's Colt, I'm fine with that too because I know I will make history at WrestleMania one way or another.
As for tonight, The Second City Saints have beaten Carlito and Primo before so I'm not too worried but I've learnt never to overlook an opponent. Colons, I have a great amount of respect for your father, Carlos. However, it's a different story with you two. I don't have a problem with you. It's just that, I haven't seen either of you do something that warrants any respect from me. Who knows? Maybe you'll prove me wrong tonight. My only addiction is competition so I'm not a betting man but when you look in that ring, it seems pretty clear which side is gonna win and which side will be at Mania. Then again, the road can often take a strange turn. You guys just better hope I don't see you on it again after tonight. Tick tock, tick tock, it's clobberin' time.
*Joey Styles and Colt Cabana are seen in WCWWE Studios, sitting in chairs that face one another.*
Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time, Colt Cabana. Colt, after Smackdown last Friday, you were visibly upset after your loss to John Cena-
Visibly upset Joey? I was “visibly upset”? No Joey, I wasn’t “visibly upset”, I was righteously pissed off. I was pissed off, not only because I had to EARN the spot that I thought I had already done many times over, but because I lost it to Yo MTV Raps! out of all people. Nevermind the fact that I’ve gone to a draw with the WCWWE Champion himself, I’ve been the last Smackdown representative in practically anything tri-branded over the last month or so; no, forget all that. I have to earn a title shot. That in and of itself is bullshit.
And I’ve heard those idiotic fans out there saying, “Well, Colt has to redeem himself after losing the Rumble”. Really? I have to “redeem myself” after eight months of going from comedy jobber to legitimate threat in the main event? Colt Cabana has to “redeem” himself after being the LAST man eliminated, the last Smackdown wrestler eliminated in the Royal Rumble? After proving he’s Smackdown’s “Ace” once again, Colt still has to redeem himself because he just couldn’t get the job done? No, he doesn’t. Because I’ve proven that I’m better than Yo MTV Raps! for eight solid months, yet he has a shot at the WCWWE World Title while I have to settle for second best.
And, if you look at my career here in WCWWE, that’s been the recurring theme. Colt Cabana, Smackdown’s “Ace”, always just… second best. I was the runner-up in the Rumble, I could only make it to the semi-finals of the World Heavyweight Tournament DESPITE being the last Smackdown representative, I couldn’t win the United States Title, I couldn’t defeat The Cult at Survivor Series… no matter how hard I try, no matter how much effort I put in, no matter how much I WANT IT… Colt Cabana is just second best.
On Smackdown Friday, I had an opportunity to reverse the curse. I had the chance become the #1 Contender to the WCWWE Title, I had the opportunity to right the wrong that was allowed to occur at the Royal Rumble when Dolph FUCKING Ziggler eliminated me. And who did I have to beat, who was the man chosen to be considered one of top contenders to the most prestigious belt in this company? John Cena, who has spent the last few months being Mickie James’ bitch and following that up with doing, survey says… jack shit. Yeah, that makes loads of sense.
I’ve worked my ass off for almost 8 months. I’ve fought damn near everyone on the Smackdown roster at least once, I’ve fought for the US Title once or twice, and ask anyone here, they’ll tell you that Colt Cabana will give you one hell of a fight. YET, the only accomplishments I can claim are Tag Team Title runs, both of which were won from AND lost to John Morrison and The Miz. John Cena, on the other hand, is a former WCWWE Champion who has headlined Wrestlemania before. He’s seen the bright lights, he’s been on “The Grandest Stage Of ‘Em All”… he’s been there. I haven’t. And once again, he’s given the chance to headline WrestleMania, while I have to sit back and watch that no-talent bastard take MY spot.
So no Joey, I’m not “visibly upset”. I’m righteously pissed the fuck off. Because I had to earn something I should’ve been given, because I lost it to a man who only worked for that shot for one month while I busted my ASS for eight straight months, because once again I have to be content with being second best once again in my WCWWE career.
Well Colt, what about the United States Title?
What about it? Punk won the title off of the Has Been Kid who did jack crap to earn that title in the first place.
Well, you have a shot at winning that title at No Way Out.
Ah yes. The consolation prize for not being good enough to beat Yo MTV Raps! on Friday. I spoke with our “esteemed” General Manager Stephanie McMahon, and I am contractually obliged to challenge for that title, or I’ll be in “violation of my contract”. Basically, I challenge for that title or I’m fired, all because that match was basically a “Loser gets a US Title Shot”. After all, this company can’t go back on its word, no matter how bass ackwards it may be.
So I guess we’re gonna see Punk/Cabana once again, despite the fact that we’re among the best tag teams in this company and miles ahead in terms of talent in our brand. The Second City Saints do battle against one another, which I suppose will sell tickets to that shoddy excuse for a PPV.
Colt, I really wouldn’t talk ill of the company-
The company that continually screws me and countless others? The company that fires workers because the writers “don’t have anything” for them? This is the company that I’m supposed to sing praises about?
Spare me Styles. Excuse me if I don’t drop down to my hands and knees and worship this bastard of a company. The fact is, unless they can change a little thing called the Bill of Rights, I have freedom of speech and therefore cannot be fired of what I say.
So, once again…
*Cabana flashes a faux smile at the camera.*
Fuck you. Fuck you Yo MTV Raps!, fuck you Stephanie McMahon for not giving me that opportunity after I had proven I was the best candidate for that title shot, and fuck you WCWWE “Universe” for proving you’re nothing but sheep following the latest “Superstar”, not wrestler, of the month.
We’re done here Joey.
*Cabana rips off his microphone cord before storming off the set.*
First to the ring
United States Champion… C..M..Punk!
And his tag team partner…
Colt Cabana!
And their opponents…
Primo and Carlito… the Colons!
These two jumped Cena earlier tonight, but we have yet to be given a reason why. But it will have to wait as they have a tough match starting… right now!
Main Event
CM Punk/Colt Cabana vs Carlito/Primo
First to 4
10 Minutes
[/center]CM Punk/Colt Cabana vs Carlito/Primo
First to 4
10 Minutes
Colt and Carlito trade blows in the middle of the ring. Just then, Colt swings, but Carlito ducks… He goes for the Backstabber! But Punk holds Colt up! And Carltio goes crashing to the mat.
Primo rushes in to help, but is cut off by a clothesline from Colt. Punk enters the ring and lifts Primo up… Go 2 Sleep! But Primo is still on his feet! Colt 45!
Carlito comes to, and both Punk and Colt rush him… but he slides out of the ring and starts making his way back up the ramp, pointing to his head about how smart he was.
Just then the crowd goes nuts… Its John Cena! He grabs Carlito by the trunks and hair and drags him back to the ring. He throws him in to the waiting arms of Colt and Punk… Go 2 Sleep! Colt 45!!
1..
2..
3!!
Here are your winners… Colt and CM Punk!
Colt leaves the ring and makes his way to the back without saying a word. Cena keeps his distance and enters the ring as Punk leaves.
Cena gets in Carlito’s face and gives him the “you can’t see me” sign. 5-Knuckle Shuffle! Carlito staggers back to his feet… FU! Cena just stares down at Carilto, then notices Primo trying to crawl out of the ring. Just as he was about to escape… cena grabs onto one of his legs and drags him back into the middle of the ring and locks in the STFU!
Primo starts tapping like crazy, but his brother is out of commission and there is no one there to save him. Cena holds the move for what seems like forever before finally releasing it. Hit music hits and he looks down at the carnage as the show comes to a close.