ILWF Promo Archives

[Above Average]

René Duprée

Donc, j'estime que le fait que j'était a la finale match pour un ou deux WWE PPVs ne me qualifie pas pour cette tournament Monsieur Bischoff?

Eh bien, qu'est ce que tu dit Eric? Est-ce-que je vais gagner une chance pour le championnat du monde ou non?!

[Above Average]

Rob Van Dam:

I'll Team with You Brock Dude but the First thing you need to do is Chill

Then:


Who said anything about Tournaments?? Competitions not my thing Dude

Then:


Brock Bro say It ain't so
After all we've Been through.......................

Then:


Brock I know we're old Freinds and All but don't expect me to go easy on ya Dude

[Above Average]

Paul Heyman:

Eric I want to take this brand global. I want to do shows in the UK, Japan, Italy, France, Australia, Mexico, and wherever else we wish.

Eric Bischoff:

Man, we are so lucky to have such a rich financial backer.

Alright, our first show will be taking place in...

*Eric Bischoff pushes a button on the Globo-Trolla. A roulette of random countries goes on and eventually stops on........*

































Germany? Ooooookay......we're goin' to Berlin!!!

Rob Van Dam:



AMSTERDAM HERE I COME

[Above Average]

Backstage, Delirous is pacing back and forth. In between a ramble these words can be made out.

Gracemeanttobeamazingbutitdoesnotsave. Jimmysavemejimmyfindmenowisee. Fallenagehereallwillfall.

Jimmy Jacobs comes into the camera shot as Delirious continues to mumble.

Jimmy - ILWF, we are the Age of the Fall and if you are not with us, you will be whether you like it or not. Some try to escape but they are never fully free. Love is meant to set you free. Me and Delirious do not need love. Isn't that right, my lizard friend?

Delirious nods slowly.

Jimmy - We are here to spread the message to all those who can hear it and for those who can't, we will be your hears. We are the eyes for those who can not see and the voice for those who can not speak. Our message has been heard in ROH and now it will spread like a virus in ILWF. No one can protect you expect us. Age of the Fall are the saviours. Eddie Kingston, it seems as if you've been chosen as the first sacrifice. May whoever you believe have mercy on your soul but the Age of the Fall is the truth and everyone will except it, one way or another. You are the first but certainly not the last. For every beginning, there must be an end. The end is near and for you, Eddie, that is Delirious.

Age of the Fall leave but Delirious comes back with a kendo stick.

Delirious - Ourkingstoncomethywillbedone.

Delirious whacks everything in sight before leaving.

[Above Average]

Tyler Black



Oh, you've got to be kidding me. As if this place didn't have enough scum...now YOU show up, Jimmy?

Great. Just great. I finally find a place that I've actually got a fair shot at the World Championship, and then YOU follow me to f*** things up. And even worse, you bring your dog Delirious. Just f***ing great.

Jimmy, Delirious, whoever the f*** else you bring here; whether it's Brodie Lee, Joey Matthews, Zack Gowen, or anyone else. Just remember this: I've ran through everything you've thrown at me before, Jimmy. I'm better without you, Jimmy. And above all else.........I'm not the only one who wants you crippled, Jimmy.

[Above Average]

Scott Hall and Rob Van Dam:

All I heard was Jobbity Jobbity 1-2-3 I Lose

Huh?

There Jobbers

Who's a Jobber!?!? I'm a Former World Champ

Not You Those little vanilla Midgets

Vanilla Midgets?
Sounds like a Snack Food


Now I got the Munchies Dude

No its not a Snack Food its a Small Uninteresting Person

So those guys are Vanilla Jobbers??

Not what I said But pretty Much Yeah

You Hungry??

No now are you gonna Sell me some Pot or what?

What're you talking about?

I'm buying Pot from you

How're you buying Pot from me If I'm Trying to buy from you?

.....................So you got any Pot?

Do You?

No

THEN NO

You wanna see if That Hobo out front is Packin any?

Tyler Black:

Like it matters what the world's biggest drunk and a pothead who was World Champion for a week think.

Scott Hall:

Ha Ha He Burned you and Jake The Snake

Tyler Black:

Jake "The Snake" Roberts is the second biggest drunk on the planet. And even if he is the biggest drunk, the difference between the two of you is that Jake Roberts actually deserves respect.

Scott Hall:

I'm actually Being Lectured on respect by...........By..............By

I'm sorry You are?

Tyler Black:

I'm...............Kevin Nash?

Yea, let's go with that.

I'm Kevin Nash. Good to see ya, buddy!

Scott Hall:

KEV

Its about Damn time you got here Hell even Syxx's been here a Few Weeks

Hey.................................Did you get Shorter?

Tyler Black:

Um.....no? I didn't get shorter, you just got taller.

Now why are you hangin' out with this Vanilla Midget RVD?

Scott Hall:

I'm not hangin out with Him

I'm tryin to score some Pot

You'll thank me once you tear your Quad

[Above Average]

Jimmy Jacobs in response to Tyler Black:

See, this is just typical Tyler Black. I bring him to ROH, I make him a star and this is what I get in return. Keep in mind, this is a man who could possibly be ILWF World Champion and yet he can't even get out one simple promo without sounding like he has tourette's syndrome. You say you're better without me, let's see how far you go. One way or other, the Age of the Fall will take over this company. Kingston is the first victim and unlike you, Delirious is actually focused on his match. By all means spread your message while you can but when it's all said and done, the one true voice will be the Fallen.

[Above Average]

Tyler Black:

Focus? Don't even talk to me about focus, Jimmy. Your dog Delirious has a throwaway Hardcore match against Eddie Kingston. I've got the ILWF's first ever main event to focus on.........against The Rock. Against a record-setting 7-time WWE World Champion. Just because I'm voicing my attitude towards you doesn't mean I'm not focusing on my match.

See, Jimmy, the burden of guaranteeing that the ILWF is seen as the best promotion on the planet lays on my shoulders. That's a conceited thing to say, I know; but I am one-half of the first ever main event. And me and The Rock have only one goal...at least, I hope he agrees with me here in saying it: to tear the roof off. And the only reason I say this to you, Jimmy Jacobs, is that I know you're going to try and ruin that. All for the sake of getting your message across. All for the sake of trying to "save" everyone.

Well, Jimmy, I've already planned for that. Like I said before; I'm not the only one who bought into your lies, and I'm not the only one pissed at you for practically causing me to commit career suicide. You better have a hell of a plan for taking me out next Monday, because it doesn't matter what army you bring.........I've got a WMD watching my back.

[Above Average]

The Rock:

I want some damn pie

?:

I've got some Jamaican Pie

[Above Average]

René Duprée:

Monsieur Bischoff, tu ne parles pas le francais? Ou est-ce-que tu n'aime pas les personnes qui parlent le francais?

Lance Cade:



GO BACK TO YOUR OWN COUNTRY

[Above Average]

Luna Vachon:

Trrrriiiiiish Strrrraaaaatusssssssssss!!! Ssssssssssssunnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyy!!! At Clash of the Chaaaaaaaaaaaampionsssssssssssssssssssss, you will both fall victim to the queeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnn... of Extreeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmme! Until then, pleasant dreeeeeeeeeammmmmmmmmmmmmmms!!!

[Above Average]

Scott Hall:

Where's Kev at?

THEN:

KEV Where you at?

[Above Average]

After show one:

Hi this is The Coach Jonathan Coachman and I'm here with The Rock. Rocky this week you had a classic match with Tyler Black which was ruined by Age Of The Fall trying to attack you. What are your thoughts on that Rocky?

Before The Rock gets to that he'd just like to say that it's been so long since The Rock has spoke with you Coach. How are ya?

Well since you asked Rock I...

IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU'RE DOING! Go on get the hell out of The Rock's way

*Coach gives Rock the mic and runs away*

Now Tyler Black before this week The Rock had no idea who you were but this week you didn't just give The Rock a great match you beat him! you beat The Rock and you earned that victory and it'll be an honor to team with you next week. As for you EMO Age of the Fall jackasses when The Rock and Tyler Black and that other guy beat the everloving hell out of you next week we'll send you punks back where you came from If You Smellalalalalala What The Rock..........Is Cookin'

[Above Average]

Jimmy Jacobs and Delirious are backstage in a darken room.

You know, many have said what I did at the end of Clash of the Champions was wrong and disgusting. Well I am disgusted at the ILWF. When me and Delirious signed our contracts, we were promised great competition and yet at the first show, the best Delirious can get is a hardcore match against Eddie Kingston while Tyler Black is allowed to main event against The Rock. What has Tyler Black done that we haven't?

We attacked Tyler Black after his match for one very simple reason. Age of the Fall gave you everything you wanted in life, we were your voice when no one else would hear you but as soon as you got your foot in the door, you stabbed us in the back and then instead of facing your problems, you convinced another promotion to sign you. You don't understand, no matter where you go, Age of the Fall will follow. You can't escape us, no one can.

You sent Necro Butcher to try and stop us. Ha. Just spit in my face why don't you. Butcher, we have had to endure more pain than you could ever give out. You have become another lost soul. Staring in a movie will not save you. Age of the Fall's message is simple. We will save you or you will be destroyed. You made your choice very clear last week and let me tell you, it is one of the worst decisions you have ever made. Your only positive is that someone managed to make an even bigger mistake than you.

Rock, we had no problem with you. We believe that you could beat Tyler Black but you couldn't so we had to get the job done. Once more, your ego got in the way of sense and you decided to attack us. Rock, I've seen you do some pretty stupid stuff before but attacking us has to be at the top of the list. We almost feel sorry for you having to team with a no talent hobo and a fame stealing backstabber but you are no better than they are.

At Clash of the Champions, we're bringing in a third man and then no one will be spared unless, unless, they join us. I see people in the locker room with the same message as us but ILWF will not allow them to speak. Age of the Fall welcomes all but don't accept our offer and to all an evil night.

[Above Average]

Sweet n Sour:

You see, my fiends, Super Agent Larry Sweeney here along side with the crown jewel of the ILWF, my #1 client Chris Hero. Now I heard that starting tomorrow a tag team tournament is coming together. Well, it's funny... As much as I love having the one horse I got in the ring with the Wolves, I also hedge my bets a little. Isn't that right Chris?

You're right Larry, and we got something cooking for this one. Ladies and Gents, let me take you back for a while. I used to be on top of the wrestling world with a good friend of mine, and it's time that we got together again. So I introduce my partner for the Tag Team tournament. CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI!!!

HEY!!! everybody. You see, Larry knows that money talks and if there is something that I need, it's always more money. So look out tag teams in our way. The Kings of Wrestling are back together, and no one is going to stop us!!