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2009
Aug 1, 2015 19:21:01 GMT -5
Post by El Sparto - MOD! MOD! MOD! on Aug 1, 2015 19:21:01 GMT -5
RAW
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2009
Aug 1, 2015 19:21:35 GMT -5
Post by El Sparto - MOD! MOD! MOD! on Aug 1, 2015 19:21:35 GMT -5
ECW
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2009
Aug 1, 2015 19:22:39 GMT -5
Post by El Sparto - MOD! MOD! MOD! on Aug 1, 2015 19:22:39 GMT -5
SMACKDOWN
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2009
Aug 1, 2015 19:23:04 GMT -5
Post by El Sparto - MOD! MOD! MOD! on Aug 1, 2015 19:23:04 GMT -5
PPVsROYAL RUMBLE The pyros explode in the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan, and Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole welcome everyone to the show. They send it to Lilian Garcia to introduce the opening contest of the evening. The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a ten minute time limit, and it is for the WWE Intercontinental Championship. Introducing first, in the corner to my left, he is challenger #1, from Manhasset, New York, he weighs in tonight at 226 pounds, Chris JERICHO! And introducing the second challenger, standing in front of me, from Yonkers, New York, weighing in at 255 pounds, representing Extreme Championship Wrestling, Tommy DREAMER! And finally, their opponent, he is the current reigning WWE Intercontinental Champion. He weighs in tonight at 247 pounds, and hails from Chelsea, England. He is Paul BURCHILL! WWE Intercontinental Championship Chris Jericho vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Paul Burchill First to 4 votes 10 minute time limit Tommy Dreamer knocks Jericho off the apron onto the announce table. Jericho is hurt and the ref goes out to help him. Burchill attacks Dreamer from behind and sets him on the top rope. Katie Lea runs down and hits a low blow on Burchill allowing Dreamer to hit a sunset flip off the top just in time for the referee to turn around to count the fall, 1-2-3. Winner and New IC Champ: Tommy Dreamer! We go backstage to the number pulling room and... *Shad walks in**MVP Walks in*Kelly baby roll that Thing and get me a Winner!!
Kelly rolls the Ball machine *Shad reaches in*
Ohhhhhhhhhhh. That's not goodYES YES YES You get a Good One?YepY'wanna Help a brother out and Trade?NopeGRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
*Shad boots a Random Intern* Oh sorry bout that Son lemme help ya up How bout now?NopeGYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH *Chokeslams the Intern* Oh God I'm sorry its just my temper some times gets the better of me
Please?NoARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH
*Knocks the Intern to the Floor and begins dropping Elbows on him* Sorry Sorry Sorry Damn i'm sorry You don't deserve thisYou Know what Fine lets tradeReally?YesAlright *Highfives the Intern*
*Shad and MVP Trade numbers*Hey Wait this is worse than my number you said you got a Good oneYeah I like to start earlyAWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
*Throws Intern out window*Uhhh Shad?WHAT?!??!We're on the Third FloorUhhhhhhhhh WhoopsWe come back to the ring from this to see Chavo Guerrero, DH Smith, Jack Swagger and Kizarny already standing in the ring. The following contest is scheduled for three falls, and is the first ever Vickie Guerrero Risk or Reward match. It is scheduled for a 30 minute time limit. Weighing in tonight at 234 pounds, hailing from Worcester, Massachusetts, he is the WWE Women’s Champion, Kenny Dykstra! Introducing next, weighing a total combined weight of 450 pounds, they are the ECW Tag Team Champions, John Morrison and The Miz! And finally, weighing 255 pounds, from the Bottomless Pit, THE BOOGEYMAN! Risk or Reward Match Chavo Guerrero vs. DH Smith vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kizarny vs. Kenny Dykstra vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz vs. The Boogeyman 3 rounds with 10 minute time limits each The winner of each round will not partake in the next round First to 3 votes in each round Kenny gets the Dykeplex on Chavo for the 3 count. Winners: Swagger, Boogeyman and Dykstra *Vickie Guerrero enters the ring and grabs the mic* Congratulations to Jack Swagger, The Boogeyman, and Kenny Dykstra! Now, it’s time to see what each of you won!*Jack Swagger opens his envelope. He pulls out a slip and holds it up. It reads: “Karaoke Night With Jillian Hall“* Wow, this IS your lucky day! You get to go out with Jillian Hall to a Karaoke Night at the club of her choosing! Doesn’t that sound exciting?!*Swagger fakes excitement* And now, The Boogeyman! It’s your turn!*The Boogeyman opens his envelope. He holds up the slip, which reads: “Championship Match”* Congratulations, Boogeyman! You just earned yourself a match for an ECW Championship of your choosing at a later date!*Kenny opens his envelope. The slip reads: “SUCKER!!!” Kenny looks confused* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!*JTG runs out and attacks Kenny, beating him with a chair before hitting Mug Shot through a table, brought in by Vickie and Tiffany. Vickie and Tiffany raise JTG’s arms and the three of them exit, leaving Kenny laying in a heap* *Mike Knox comes into the drawing place*
This thing right here? Okay.
*Spins it and takes the ball. Knox takes it, looks at it, and gives the "Eh" sign* The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 15 minute time limit, and it is for the WWE Championship! Introducing first, the challenger, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing in at 225 pounds, The Heart Break Kid, Shawn Michaels! And to my right, the champion, from New York City, weighing in at 290 pounds, John “Bradshaw” Layfield! WWE Championship Shawn Michaels vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield 4 votes to win 15 minute time limit HBK sets up for Sweet Chin Music on JBL, but Regal makes his way to the ring apron. Shawn goes over to him and Regal grabs him. JBL goes and turns HBK round for a Clothesline from Hell. He goes for it, HBK ducks and he hits Regal. JBL turns into Sweet Chin Music for the 3 count. Here is your Winner and New WWE Champion: Shawn Michaels. *William Regal returns to the Royal Rumble drawing office after interfering in the Undisputed WWE Championship match. Mr. McMahon is staring at him with a death glare.* What? WHAT?!?WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE WILLIAM?! Don't you know how important this night is? This is the Royal Rumble! This is where the Road to WrestleMania begins! And the highlight of the undercard - the WWE title match is ruined by your interference. JBL and HBK were putting on a classic out there until you reared your head! What do you have to say for yourself Regal? I'm listening!Exactly what you would have done had you been in MY position, Mr. McMahon. John Bradshaw Layfield is the epitome of what the WWE Champion should be: powerful, intelligent, cunning, and an all-around pure athlete. The days where Shawn Michaels was fit to be WWE Champion ended a long, long time ago, Mr. McMahon, and I think you know that better than anyone else. Excuse me for protecting the interests of not only myself, but the entire WWE.Well Mr. Regal I would suggest to you that if HBK wasn't fit to be champion, that's up to a fair one on one match to decide. JBL is a helluva athlete, but when the biggest prize in the world is on the line, it should be fair and square William. You're trying my patience Regal. After subjecting Cryme Tyme to that horrific handicap match on Raw this week, ignoring my command to have CT vs. Orton in a handicap match, and then trading JTG to ECW, and now this? You better watch yourself. Don't forget Regal, you're expendable! You're Shane's GM appointment, so it's no skin off my nose if you wind up... being terminated. You better sit and conduct your responsibilities in a fair and impartial manner from now on, or that's exactly what will happen...*As Mr. McMahon turns his attention back to the monitor, Regal takes out a pair of brass knuckles and punches his palm. McMahon turns to Regal, who quickly hides the knucks.* The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a ten minute time limit, and is to determine the #1 contender for the WWE Women’s Championship. Introducing first, from Buffalo, New York, the Glamazon, Beth Phoenix! On her way to the ring, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, Natalya! From Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Candice Michelle! And finally, from Richmond, Virginia, Mickie James! #1 Women’s Contender Match Beth Phoenix vs. Natalya vs. Candice Michelle vs. Mickie James First to 3 votes 10 minute time limit Beth Phoenix hits the Glam Slam on Natalya and finds the 3 count. #1 Contender for the Women's Title: Beth Phoenix The Glamazon. *Great Khali is seen backstage picking his numbers as Maria and Michelle flirt with him. Dolph Ziggler and Mike Adamle arrive on the scene as Khali leaves. Dolph introduces himself to all three GMs. then goes to pick his number as Maria tumbles the barrell* Good luck DolphHi. I'm Dolph Ziggler*extends hand, Maria rolls eyes and shakes hand* *A drunk Mike Adamle walks up to Michelle* Hey baby. wanna have my kids?*Michelle slaps Mike as Dolph opens the door of the barrell to select his number, he spits both hands, rubs them together, cranks his neck, cracks his fingers, inhales, exhales, blows snot out his nose and slides his hand over his hair. he looks up, closes his eyes and sticks his hand in the barrell, pulls out a ball and opens it. he looks delighted with his number as Adamle throws up on Theodore Long's shoes* This contest is scheduled for one fall with a ten minute time limit and it is for the WWE United States Championship! Introducing first, to my left, the challenger, he hails from Raleigh, North Carolina and weighs 215 pounds, one half of the WWE Tag Team Champions, Hurricane Helms! And his opponent, he is the WWE United States Champion, from Venice, California, he weighs 184 pounds, THE Brian Kendrick! WWE United States Championship Hurricane Helms vs. The Brian Kendrick First to 4 votes 10 minute time limit Kendrick Kendricks Helms. ***Kenny is shown backstage with the DA. His head has a comedy bandage on it*** She won bossWho won?Beth Phoenix boss, she's gonna be wanting that title back Well she can't have it, im a better woman's wrestler than her You're a better wrestler boss, but you're not really a woman ***Kenny looks confused*** What do you mean I'm not really a woman? Are these not real (Kenny cups his pecs), is this not a killer ass (Kenny smacks his own butt) and I certainly don't have anything down there (Kenny grabs his crotch) Boss are you feeling ok? You took that table right on the head.... Kerry Dykstra is feeling fine, and Kerry Dykstra will continue to be the woman's champion despite the challenge being presented by that.....that.....GlaMANzon! Kerry Dykstra?! Boss, you really should see a doctor Im fine, it's the GlaMANzon that needs to worry***Kenny smoothes out her(?) dress and sticks out his(?) chest and walks off. The DA follow but look very very confused*** Now I get to feel like The Fink - Here are the rules of the ROYAL RUMBLE... MATCH! The match will begin with entrants 1 through 6 entering the ring to begin the match. THEN every 5 minutes thereafter another superstar will enter the ring according to the number he drew. The last superstar remaining in the ring after all 30 have entered, will be declared the winner and will go on to face the WWE champion at WRESTLEMANIA XXV! So, how will it work you ask? Well, there will be 4 of us running the match effectively. Yours truly will be keeping score to the best of his ability throughout the match. Tank, Wordlifeecw and Brahma Bull will be aiding me by posting the next entrant every 5 minutes. ROUNDS: Yes we're using rounds again. Rounds will last 5 minutes each. In each 5 minute period you can vote AGAINST one superstar who is currently involved in the match-up. Votes DO NOT carry over - if you fail to vote in a round you can't vote twice in the next round. Up until all 30 men have entered, the rounds will be considered the gap between each entrant being announced. VOTING DOES NOT BEGIN UNTIL THE FIRST 6 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN POSTED. After all 30 men have entered, 5 minute rounds will be declared by me, after which each person may vote again. You can vote against each person ONE TIME until all 30 have entered. Beyond that point you may vote against whoever you want even if you've voted against them before. It will be 5 votes to an elimination in this match-up. Henry picks up Edge on his shoulder to throw him over. He gets down and out of it though and hits a clothesline to send him over the top. Edge celebrates. Henry has hung on though and comes in and clotheslines Edge out. Mark Henry wins the Royal Rumble. Just then Randy Orton runs down and attacks Henry from behind. "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! I SHOULD HAVE WON THIS MATCH! I GOT SCREWED BY THE DRAW! I'M GONNA TAKE YOU OUT AND THEN I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR MANIA SPOT WITH ME!" The Empire then run to the ring (Y2J, Burchill, Regal and JBL) to help Orton with the beatdown. However, Henry is saved by HBK, Punk, Kofi and D-Lo who clear the ring. No Chance hits and Mr. McMahon makes his way to ringside. He gets in Regal's face and grabs a mic. What the hell do you call this Regal?! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!I re-iterate what I stated earlier, Mr. McMahon: you'd have done the same thing were you in my position!!! The rightful winner of this match, Randy Orton, was screwed and you KNOW IT, MR. MCMAHON!!!RANDY ORTON WAS ELIMINATED FAIR AND SQUARE. I'M SICK OF THIS CRAP REGAL! THAT'S IT...
YOU'RE
FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
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