Post by Above Average on May 29, 2009 21:45:15 GMT -5
Show: WCWWE Raw
Date: 29th October, 2008
Booked by: The Tank
Ran by: The Tank
Location: WCWWE Thread 2 Pages 3-8
*Camera cuts on in a lavish office. Bookshelves line every wall up to the roof, and the lights are all dim, save for two: the fireplace filled by a rather large blaze, and a single floor lamp which overhangs a leather chair. The cameraman moves around the chair to reveal William Regal, 2008 King of the Ring and General Manager of Raw, reading The Once and Future King and drinking a cup of Earl Grey. GM Regal continues reading until he realizes the cameraman standing there.*
Oh, hello. Didn't realize you were here. My name is William Regal, and I am your king. As of last week, however, I am once again your acting General Manager of Raw due to the......"release" of Michael Adamle as General Manager. Seems the bloody git just wasn't up to snuff. Nonetheless, on behalf of Raw, I wish him well in his future endeavors.
*Regal chuckles a bit, finishes off his tea, and puts his book down.*
Now then, to begin my new tenure as Raw General Manager, I will show that I do not intend to insult you members of the audience, whether you are a fellow Brit or a resident of a..."lesser" nation. As you are probably aware by now, at the airing of this show, it is Wednesday, October 29th. Due to some unfortunate scheduling problems, Raw will be aired on Wednesdays from here on out. I apologize in advance for this troubling affair, but promise that it will in no way affect the show.
Now then, moving on to tonight. Tonight is the first Raw of the season, and as your new General Manager, I intend to start the season off right. So, tonight will be an excellent show, I assure you. But before we go into the show, I'd like to make some announcements.
First off, the World Tag Team Championships. My decision for this is a simple one. 8 teams will be entered in a tournament, consisting of Raw and ECW teams will square off, with the finals of this tournament taking place at Survivor Series next month in November.
Moving on to the Intercontinental Championship. Mirroring the Tag Title situation, there will be a tournament consisting of 16 Superstars from Raw and ECW, with the finals of this tournament taking place at Survivor Series.
The Undisputed Women's Championship will also be decided at Survivor Series. Unfortunately, I haven't recieved any information on this yet, so you'll have to wait until Mr. McMahon or the Board of Directors makes a statement regarding it.
Finally, we come to the largest piece of news. The Undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Four men will square off in a Round Robin style mini-tournament. Batista, Shawn Michaels, JBL, and Rey Mysterio. The man who makes it out of this tournament with the most points will move on to Survivor Series and face the World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho.
Now that the title business is out of the way, let's take a look at tonight's schedule, shall we?
*Regal picks up a remote control and presses a button, which turns on an LCD screen above the fireplace. The screen is adorned with the Raw logo.*
Before I begin, I feel it necessary to mention one thing. While I have agreed to the Talent Exchange between Raw and ECW, I feel that as Raw's first show of the season this should be a show featuring Raw's finest and only Raw's finest. Therefore, there will be no ECW Superstars featured tonight. However, ECW's boys will be here next week, when the tournaments begin for the World Tag Team Championships and Intercontinental Championship. But, more information on that matter next week.
To begin tonight's affairs, a match will take place between two of Raw's greatest tag teams. Two members of the former World Tag Team Champions, Team Priceless will square off against Raw's newest tag team, Kofi Kingston and CM Punk.
*Regal presses another button on the remote, which brings up Priceless and Punk/Kofi.*
The second match of the evening will be an exhibition featuring the World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho, taking on the very first Royal Rumble winner, Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
*Regal presses the button again, which changes the picture to Duggan and Jericho.*
Following that will be a Triple Threat bout between former WWE Tag Team Champion and World Tag Tea Champion Paul London, former Euro-continental Champion D'Lo Brown, and the "Undefeated" Snitsky.
*Regal presses the same button, which changes the picture to D'Lo, London, and Snitsky.*
Next, you will hear from our illustrious chairman, Mr. McMahon.
*The button is pressed again, and Vince McMahon's face covers nearly the entire screen.*
After Mr. McMahon's appearance, my fellow Englishman Paul Burchill will face off with the man of a million faces, Charlie Haas.
*Again, the button changes the picture to Burchill and Haas.*
After which will be a match many are undoubtedly waiting for, the Raw Divas. Mickie James, Katie Lea Burchill, Jillian Hall, and The Glamazon Beth Phoenix will face off in a Fatal Four Way Elimination match.
*The Divas appear on-screen, and unsurprisingly, this picture takes longer than the others to be switched.*
Following this will be another singles match, where former Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella will battle the Big Red Monster, Kane.
*Santino's face shares the screen with Kane's ugly mug.*
Finally, our main event. Rey Mysterio will team up with none other than The Animal Batista to face off with The Wrestling God JBL and The Heart Break Kid Shawn Michaels, with the World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho as special guest commentator.
*The participants of the tournament appear on-screen.*
Hopefully, Smackdown and ECW will put a valiant effort attempting to top tonight's affairs. Because nothing will please me more than to lord victory over Theodore Long and Victoria Guerrero.
*Regal chuckles again, presses the button to bring back the Raw logo, and sets down the remote.*
And thusly, without further ado, Welcome to "Monday" Night Raw!!!
*Cut to the ring, where Lilian Garcia is standing by.*
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is your opening match, and it is scheduled for onefall with a ten minute time limit.
Making their way to the ring first, at a combined weight of 528 pounds, accompanied by Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and Manu!
And their opponents, at a combined weight of 440 pounds, Kofi Kingston and CM Punk!
Your winners, Kofi Kingston and CM Punk!
This next match is scheduled for onefall.
Making his way to the ring from Glens Falls, New York, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan!
And the opponent, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, weighing in at 226 pounds, he is the World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho!
Here is your winner as a result of disqualification, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan!
The crowd boos as Jericho refuses to leave the ring.
"Regal, Regal, Regal... I know that we may have had some "creative differences" in the distant past, but I want to put all of those days behind us and congratulate you on your new found role as RAW GM.
You see, I want to see you succeed in this role where others have failed. I want to see WCWWE succeed where others have failed. This is why I am here. I have come to save professional wrestling as we know it. I have come to save this industry from the has-beens, the glory hounds, and the rest of these cretins in the back before all of us "lose our smile".
[Jericho smirks.]
GM Regal, there is a better way to restore order and dignity to this industry than having some tournament full of nobodies to crown an undisputed champion. You already have an undisputed champion headlining your roster. You have Chris Jericho.
Put the best man of RAW in the final match and I guarantee that I will mop the floor with the pool of rejects that infest Smackdown and ECW. The highest prize in the industry today will be featured on YOUR show. With that title on MY waist will come ratings beyond your wildest dreams, Regal. The world will stop one night a week to watch me, to watch RAW, and they will thank us for saving them from the tired act of reformed geriatrics, muscle-bound impotents, and the old regimes that will never EEEEVER plague television sets on Wednesdays again!
Finally, Jericho drops the mic and heads to the back.
*As Voices hits over the PA, Randy Orton walks out to a chorus of boos, he walks down the ramp slowly with a methodical look in his eyes.*
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, RANDY ORTON!”
*Orton climbs the ring steps and gets into the ring, he walks over to the corner post and climbs it, he does his pose on the top rope before jumping down and giving Lillian an evil look, he then steals her microphone and signals her to get out of the ring.*
“Ladies and gentlemen, since Lillian Garcia doesn’t seem to recognise greatness, or be able to do her job right, let me introduce to you the One Man Dynasty, the Legend Killer, the future WWE Undisputed Champion…ME! Randy Orton.”
*An “Orton sucks” chant begins, only motivating Orton further*
“I know people out there where worried that they might not be able to get to see me tonight due to my injury, but let me tell you, and everyone in the back, it’s gonna take a lot more than that to take me out. See when Triple H put me out it was only a temporary speed bump if you will, on the path of the Age of Orton, and trust me, once I get the confirmation from my doctor, the Age of Orton WILL return, And I WILL rule over the WWE once again.”
*The chant begins to get a little louder.*
“But what I originally came out here for, was to deliver a message, a message to whoever wins the Undisputed Championship, whether it be Batista…Shawn Michaels…Rey Mysterio…JBL…or Chris Jericho, know this, your holding of that title is on borrowed time. Borrowed until the Age of Orton returns to the WWE and takes out all of those who stand against it, and then I will stand at the top of the proverbial ladder, laughing at all of you idiots who sit at the bottom.”
*The Orton sucks chant is now filling the arena, but this just causes Orton to smirk.*
“And since all of you people seem to be such huge fans, I’ll give you the kind inside tip off the websites WISH they had. The Age of Orton is set to return, sooner than any of you could EVER imagine.”
*Voices hits again as Randy makes his way out of the arena.*
The following contest is a Triple Threat match!
Making his way to the ring first from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 268 pounds, D'Lo Brown!
From Austin, Texas, weighing in at 208 pounds, Paul London!
And from Nesquehoning, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 307 pounds, Snitsky!
Your winner, Paul London!
*GM Regal makes his way to the ring.*
It is now time for a word from our illustrious Chairman. Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Vincent Kennedy McMahon!!!
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=yLHiWq_Dslo
*Nobody comes out to the ramp.*
Cole: What’s going on King? Where’s Mr. McMahon?
King: I don’t know Michael. What’s going on?
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=qSL9ZrOlFuA
*Shane McMahon makes his way down the ramp to the ring. When he gets in the ring he asks for a microphone*
Shane: Well ladies and gentlemen; it’s good to see you again. You may be a bit confused right now, and I can understand the reasons. You were expecting to see my father, Vincent Kennedy McMahon come walking down this ramp right now, like only Vince knows how. You were expecting him to tell you about the Survivor Series live only on PPV in 4 weeks time. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I couldn’t allow my father to come here tonight. You see, Vince wanted to be here tonight to talk to you all, but truth of the matter is, he’s still unwell. He’s still suffering the effects of the stage collapse back in June during the 2008 Draft Lottery. What sort of son would that make me if I allowed my father to come here and risk his health just to speak, when there’s another man with the name “Mr. McMahon” who can tell you the information just as well?
And I guess since I’m also Mr. McMahon, you can’t say it was false advertising to get you to tune in! And while I can't walk like Vince, I CAN do THIS!
*Shane proceeds to do his jig around the ring*
But now some serious business to attend to - we have a new General Manager here on Raw – William Regal. Why is William the General Manager again you ask? Well, last week Vince deemed Mike Adamle to be well… incompetent as a GM. So, Mike, as my dad would say, YOU’RE FIIIIIIRED… from your GM post anyway. I’m sure we can find you another job to do eventually with as much success as your previous 3 posts. I knew we needed a man with experience of the trials and tribulations of the GM post, and so I turned to former Raw GM, former WWE Commissioner, and former WCW Commissioner, the 2008 King of the Ring, William Regal.
Even with Raw sorted out, and Smackdown and ECW with their own GMs already in place, there are Vince’s chairman duties to look at. So, until Vince is physically capable of returning to his job, I will be fulfilling the obligations of the Chairman.
My first act as the temporary chairman is to announce the card for the Survivor Series.
There will be 3 Survivor Series Elimination matches. Each match will have 2 teams of 5 competitors. It’s quite simple – one match will be exclusively Raw superstars. One will be Smackdown! The other will be ECW. General Managers will decide who gets the spots in those matches.
The Divas Championship is now GONE. In its place is a new Women’s Championship which will be available for any diva from any of the three brands to compete for. How will the new champion be determined? At the PPV there will be a Survivor Series match, Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown! When one team is entirely eliminated, the winning team will fight each other for the title. If there’s only one person left on the winning side they are the champion.
One more situation needs to be addressed – the world titles. I feel that for 6 years the WWE fans haven’t known who the number one guy in the company is. Is it the ECW Champion, Matt Hardy? Is it the WWE Champion, Triple H? Is it the World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho? Nobody knows! All three of them are evenly matched in the eyes of the fans. There is no clear cut number one. At Survivor Series, we will remedy that problem, because at Survivor Series there will be a tournament to determine the Undisputed WWE Champion. The three men I’ve just name dropped will be automatically entered into the brackets. Three other men will join them – one from each brand and it will be straight knock out to the finals where the three titles will be unified.
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=qSL9ZrOlFuA
King: Did you hear that Michael? The Survivor Series card is jam packed. 3 single brand Survivor Series matches, and I can’t wait to see that divas match! Not one, not two, but TEN divas!
Cole: Don’t forget though King. AN UNDISPUTED CHAMPION WILL BE CROWNED. For the first time in 6 years, we’re going to know who the number 1 wrestler in the world really is! OH MY! And tonight we get a chance to see who might be joining our current World Champion in that tournament! HBK and JBL vs. Batista and Rey TONIGHT on Raw!
*Santino unwantedly interrupts Shane's promo*
A-a-a-ahem! Shane-a-Mac! I would-a like-a file a complaint over my nopponent tonight, the Bread Monster Kane! You see, I clearly challenged-a him to an inferno match, and-a yet, I still haven't received my challenge! Meaning-a that, I have-a to face-a Kane, but only in a normal match! I knew that he wouldn't be able to handle the former Intercontinental champione Santino Marella, so I decided to give-a him a fair shot at-a me! Soooo, maybe we can arrange-a this match...next-a week?!
*Regal interrupts Santino.*
Santino, you want an Inferno match against Kane? Fine, it's your funeral, mate. Next week's main event will be Santino Marella in an Inferno match. Now get the hell out of the ring, it's time for our next match.
*Regal leaves the ring. Security has Santino removed from the ring.*
Shane takes the mic.
You know what Santino? I'm in a very GIVING mood tonight, so I'll grant you that match. Next week on Raw, Santino Marella vs. Kane in an Inferno match.... BUT that's not at all Santino. Not even close! If you win, then Kane will be your assistant for a month. He has to do exactly as you say when you say... within the confines of the law of course.
Oh, and Santino... one more thing, if Kane wins, roles are reversed, you'll be his assistant for the month.
Match... BOOKED!
*Starts to prance around the ring like a maniac and then leaves to the backstage area*
The next match is scheduled for onefall!
Making his way to the ring accompanied by Katie Lea, from Chelsea, England, weighing in at 247 pounds, Paul Burchill!
Paul Burchill's opponent..."Pirate" Charles Burchill!!!
Your winner, "Pirate" Charlie Burchass!
The following contest is a Fatal-Four-Way Elimination match!
On the way to the ring first, from Richmond, Virginia, Mickie James!
From Louisville, Kentucky, Jillian Hall!
From Chelsea, England, accompanied by Paul Burchill, Katie Lea!
And from Buffalo, New York, accompanied by Santino Marella, Beth Phoenix the Glamazon!
Katie Lea Burchill has been eliminated!
Jillian Hall is eliminated!
Here is your winner: Mickie James!
This next match is for onefall!
Making his way to the ring from Calabria, Italy, weighing in at 227 pounds, Santino Marella!
And his opponent, weighing in at 323 pounds, Kane!
Kane hits a Tombstone for the pin.
Cody: Damn. I lost my Belt. Now my pants are gonna fall down. Now I'm all moody. But that could be the birth control pills I took just to see what could happen. *looks down* excretory matter.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the main event!
Making his way to the ring first from San Diego, California, weighing in at 165 pounds, Rey Mysterio!
His tag team partner, from Washington, D.C., weighing in at 290 pounds, Batista!
And their opponents, first:
From San Antonio, Texas, The Heart Break Kid, Shawn Micheals!
And his partner, from New York City, John Bradshaw Layfield, JBL!
Here are your winners, Shawn Michaels and JB.......
*Suddenly, Chris Jericho hits the ring with a chair, and lays out all four competitors. He hits Batista and Shawn Michaels a few times before leaving the ring for his title. Rey Mysterio gets up just in time to get a belt in the face. JBL also rises to receive a gold sandwich. Chris Jericho stands dominant over all four of Raw's competitors for the Undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Championship as the screen fades out.*
Date: 29th October, 2008
Booked by: The Tank
Ran by: The Tank
Location: WCWWE Thread 2 Pages 3-8
*Camera cuts on in a lavish office. Bookshelves line every wall up to the roof, and the lights are all dim, save for two: the fireplace filled by a rather large blaze, and a single floor lamp which overhangs a leather chair. The cameraman moves around the chair to reveal William Regal, 2008 King of the Ring and General Manager of Raw, reading The Once and Future King and drinking a cup of Earl Grey. GM Regal continues reading until he realizes the cameraman standing there.*
Oh, hello. Didn't realize you were here. My name is William Regal, and I am your king. As of last week, however, I am once again your acting General Manager of Raw due to the......"release" of Michael Adamle as General Manager. Seems the bloody git just wasn't up to snuff. Nonetheless, on behalf of Raw, I wish him well in his future endeavors.
*Regal chuckles a bit, finishes off his tea, and puts his book down.*
Now then, to begin my new tenure as Raw General Manager, I will show that I do not intend to insult you members of the audience, whether you are a fellow Brit or a resident of a..."lesser" nation. As you are probably aware by now, at the airing of this show, it is Wednesday, October 29th. Due to some unfortunate scheduling problems, Raw will be aired on Wednesdays from here on out. I apologize in advance for this troubling affair, but promise that it will in no way affect the show.
Now then, moving on to tonight. Tonight is the first Raw of the season, and as your new General Manager, I intend to start the season off right. So, tonight will be an excellent show, I assure you. But before we go into the show, I'd like to make some announcements.
First off, the World Tag Team Championships. My decision for this is a simple one. 8 teams will be entered in a tournament, consisting of Raw and ECW teams will square off, with the finals of this tournament taking place at Survivor Series next month in November.
Moving on to the Intercontinental Championship. Mirroring the Tag Title situation, there will be a tournament consisting of 16 Superstars from Raw and ECW, with the finals of this tournament taking place at Survivor Series.
The Undisputed Women's Championship will also be decided at Survivor Series. Unfortunately, I haven't recieved any information on this yet, so you'll have to wait until Mr. McMahon or the Board of Directors makes a statement regarding it.
Finally, we come to the largest piece of news. The Undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Four men will square off in a Round Robin style mini-tournament. Batista, Shawn Michaels, JBL, and Rey Mysterio. The man who makes it out of this tournament with the most points will move on to Survivor Series and face the World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho.
Now that the title business is out of the way, let's take a look at tonight's schedule, shall we?
*Regal picks up a remote control and presses a button, which turns on an LCD screen above the fireplace. The screen is adorned with the Raw logo.*
Before I begin, I feel it necessary to mention one thing. While I have agreed to the Talent Exchange between Raw and ECW, I feel that as Raw's first show of the season this should be a show featuring Raw's finest and only Raw's finest. Therefore, there will be no ECW Superstars featured tonight. However, ECW's boys will be here next week, when the tournaments begin for the World Tag Team Championships and Intercontinental Championship. But, more information on that matter next week.
To begin tonight's affairs, a match will take place between two of Raw's greatest tag teams. Two members of the former World Tag Team Champions, Team Priceless will square off against Raw's newest tag team, Kofi Kingston and CM Punk.
*Regal presses another button on the remote, which brings up Priceless and Punk/Kofi.*
The second match of the evening will be an exhibition featuring the World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho, taking on the very first Royal Rumble winner, Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
*Regal presses the button again, which changes the picture to Duggan and Jericho.*
Following that will be a Triple Threat bout between former WWE Tag Team Champion and World Tag Tea Champion Paul London, former Euro-continental Champion D'Lo Brown, and the "Undefeated" Snitsky.
*Regal presses the same button, which changes the picture to D'Lo, London, and Snitsky.*
Next, you will hear from our illustrious chairman, Mr. McMahon.
*The button is pressed again, and Vince McMahon's face covers nearly the entire screen.*
After Mr. McMahon's appearance, my fellow Englishman Paul Burchill will face off with the man of a million faces, Charlie Haas.
*Again, the button changes the picture to Burchill and Haas.*
After which will be a match many are undoubtedly waiting for, the Raw Divas. Mickie James, Katie Lea Burchill, Jillian Hall, and The Glamazon Beth Phoenix will face off in a Fatal Four Way Elimination match.
*The Divas appear on-screen, and unsurprisingly, this picture takes longer than the others to be switched.*
Following this will be another singles match, where former Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella will battle the Big Red Monster, Kane.
*Santino's face shares the screen with Kane's ugly mug.*
Finally, our main event. Rey Mysterio will team up with none other than The Animal Batista to face off with The Wrestling God JBL and The Heart Break Kid Shawn Michaels, with the World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho as special guest commentator.
*The participants of the tournament appear on-screen.*
Hopefully, Smackdown and ECW will put a valiant effort attempting to top tonight's affairs. Because nothing will please me more than to lord victory over Theodore Long and Victoria Guerrero.
*Regal chuckles again, presses the button to bring back the Raw logo, and sets down the remote.*
And thusly, without further ado, Welcome to "Monday" Night Raw!!!
*Cut to the ring, where Lilian Garcia is standing by.*
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is your opening match, and it is scheduled for onefall with a ten minute time limit.
Making their way to the ring first, at a combined weight of 528 pounds, accompanied by Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and Manu!
And their opponents, at a combined weight of 440 pounds, Kofi Kingston and CM Punk!
Your winners, Kofi Kingston and CM Punk!
This next match is scheduled for onefall.
Making his way to the ring from Glens Falls, New York, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan!
And the opponent, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, weighing in at 226 pounds, he is the World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho!
Here is your winner as a result of disqualification, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan!
The crowd boos as Jericho refuses to leave the ring.
"Regal, Regal, Regal... I know that we may have had some "creative differences" in the distant past, but I want to put all of those days behind us and congratulate you on your new found role as RAW GM.
You see, I want to see you succeed in this role where others have failed. I want to see WCWWE succeed where others have failed. This is why I am here. I have come to save professional wrestling as we know it. I have come to save this industry from the has-beens, the glory hounds, and the rest of these cretins in the back before all of us "lose our smile".
[Jericho smirks.]
GM Regal, there is a better way to restore order and dignity to this industry than having some tournament full of nobodies to crown an undisputed champion. You already have an undisputed champion headlining your roster. You have Chris Jericho.
Put the best man of RAW in the final match and I guarantee that I will mop the floor with the pool of rejects that infest Smackdown and ECW. The highest prize in the industry today will be featured on YOUR show. With that title on MY waist will come ratings beyond your wildest dreams, Regal. The world will stop one night a week to watch me, to watch RAW, and they will thank us for saving them from the tired act of reformed geriatrics, muscle-bound impotents, and the old regimes that will never EEEEVER plague television sets on Wednesdays again!
Finally, Jericho drops the mic and heads to the back.
*As Voices hits over the PA, Randy Orton walks out to a chorus of boos, he walks down the ramp slowly with a methodical look in his eyes.*
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, RANDY ORTON!”
*Orton climbs the ring steps and gets into the ring, he walks over to the corner post and climbs it, he does his pose on the top rope before jumping down and giving Lillian an evil look, he then steals her microphone and signals her to get out of the ring.*
“Ladies and gentlemen, since Lillian Garcia doesn’t seem to recognise greatness, or be able to do her job right, let me introduce to you the One Man Dynasty, the Legend Killer, the future WWE Undisputed Champion…ME! Randy Orton.”
*An “Orton sucks” chant begins, only motivating Orton further*
“I know people out there where worried that they might not be able to get to see me tonight due to my injury, but let me tell you, and everyone in the back, it’s gonna take a lot more than that to take me out. See when Triple H put me out it was only a temporary speed bump if you will, on the path of the Age of Orton, and trust me, once I get the confirmation from my doctor, the Age of Orton WILL return, And I WILL rule over the WWE once again.”
*The chant begins to get a little louder.*
“But what I originally came out here for, was to deliver a message, a message to whoever wins the Undisputed Championship, whether it be Batista…Shawn Michaels…Rey Mysterio…JBL…or Chris Jericho, know this, your holding of that title is on borrowed time. Borrowed until the Age of Orton returns to the WWE and takes out all of those who stand against it, and then I will stand at the top of the proverbial ladder, laughing at all of you idiots who sit at the bottom.”
*The Orton sucks chant is now filling the arena, but this just causes Orton to smirk.*
“And since all of you people seem to be such huge fans, I’ll give you the kind inside tip off the websites WISH they had. The Age of Orton is set to return, sooner than any of you could EVER imagine.”
*Voices hits again as Randy makes his way out of the arena.*
The following contest is a Triple Threat match!
Making his way to the ring first from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 268 pounds, D'Lo Brown!
From Austin, Texas, weighing in at 208 pounds, Paul London!
And from Nesquehoning, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 307 pounds, Snitsky!
Your winner, Paul London!
*GM Regal makes his way to the ring.*
It is now time for a word from our illustrious Chairman. Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Vincent Kennedy McMahon!!!
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=yLHiWq_Dslo
*Nobody comes out to the ramp.*
Cole: What’s going on King? Where’s Mr. McMahon?
King: I don’t know Michael. What’s going on?
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=qSL9ZrOlFuA
*Shane McMahon makes his way down the ramp to the ring. When he gets in the ring he asks for a microphone*
Shane: Well ladies and gentlemen; it’s good to see you again. You may be a bit confused right now, and I can understand the reasons. You were expecting to see my father, Vincent Kennedy McMahon come walking down this ramp right now, like only Vince knows how. You were expecting him to tell you about the Survivor Series live only on PPV in 4 weeks time. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I couldn’t allow my father to come here tonight. You see, Vince wanted to be here tonight to talk to you all, but truth of the matter is, he’s still unwell. He’s still suffering the effects of the stage collapse back in June during the 2008 Draft Lottery. What sort of son would that make me if I allowed my father to come here and risk his health just to speak, when there’s another man with the name “Mr. McMahon” who can tell you the information just as well?
And I guess since I’m also Mr. McMahon, you can’t say it was false advertising to get you to tune in! And while I can't walk like Vince, I CAN do THIS!
*Shane proceeds to do his jig around the ring*
But now some serious business to attend to - we have a new General Manager here on Raw – William Regal. Why is William the General Manager again you ask? Well, last week Vince deemed Mike Adamle to be well… incompetent as a GM. So, Mike, as my dad would say, YOU’RE FIIIIIIRED… from your GM post anyway. I’m sure we can find you another job to do eventually with as much success as your previous 3 posts. I knew we needed a man with experience of the trials and tribulations of the GM post, and so I turned to former Raw GM, former WWE Commissioner, and former WCW Commissioner, the 2008 King of the Ring, William Regal.
Even with Raw sorted out, and Smackdown and ECW with their own GMs already in place, there are Vince’s chairman duties to look at. So, until Vince is physically capable of returning to his job, I will be fulfilling the obligations of the Chairman.
My first act as the temporary chairman is to announce the card for the Survivor Series.
There will be 3 Survivor Series Elimination matches. Each match will have 2 teams of 5 competitors. It’s quite simple – one match will be exclusively Raw superstars. One will be Smackdown! The other will be ECW. General Managers will decide who gets the spots in those matches.
The Divas Championship is now GONE. In its place is a new Women’s Championship which will be available for any diva from any of the three brands to compete for. How will the new champion be determined? At the PPV there will be a Survivor Series match, Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown! When one team is entirely eliminated, the winning team will fight each other for the title. If there’s only one person left on the winning side they are the champion.
One more situation needs to be addressed – the world titles. I feel that for 6 years the WWE fans haven’t known who the number one guy in the company is. Is it the ECW Champion, Matt Hardy? Is it the WWE Champion, Triple H? Is it the World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho? Nobody knows! All three of them are evenly matched in the eyes of the fans. There is no clear cut number one. At Survivor Series, we will remedy that problem, because at Survivor Series there will be a tournament to determine the Undisputed WWE Champion. The three men I’ve just name dropped will be automatically entered into the brackets. Three other men will join them – one from each brand and it will be straight knock out to the finals where the three titles will be unified.
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=qSL9ZrOlFuA
King: Did you hear that Michael? The Survivor Series card is jam packed. 3 single brand Survivor Series matches, and I can’t wait to see that divas match! Not one, not two, but TEN divas!
Cole: Don’t forget though King. AN UNDISPUTED CHAMPION WILL BE CROWNED. For the first time in 6 years, we’re going to know who the number 1 wrestler in the world really is! OH MY! And tonight we get a chance to see who might be joining our current World Champion in that tournament! HBK and JBL vs. Batista and Rey TONIGHT on Raw!
*Santino unwantedly interrupts Shane's promo*
A-a-a-ahem! Shane-a-Mac! I would-a like-a file a complaint over my nopponent tonight, the Bread Monster Kane! You see, I clearly challenged-a him to an inferno match, and-a yet, I still haven't received my challenge! Meaning-a that, I have-a to face-a Kane, but only in a normal match! I knew that he wouldn't be able to handle the former Intercontinental champione Santino Marella, so I decided to give-a him a fair shot at-a me! Soooo, maybe we can arrange-a this match...next-a week?!
*Regal interrupts Santino.*
Santino, you want an Inferno match against Kane? Fine, it's your funeral, mate. Next week's main event will be Santino Marella in an Inferno match. Now get the hell out of the ring, it's time for our next match.
*Regal leaves the ring. Security has Santino removed from the ring.*
Shane takes the mic.
You know what Santino? I'm in a very GIVING mood tonight, so I'll grant you that match. Next week on Raw, Santino Marella vs. Kane in an Inferno match.... BUT that's not at all Santino. Not even close! If you win, then Kane will be your assistant for a month. He has to do exactly as you say when you say... within the confines of the law of course.
Oh, and Santino... one more thing, if Kane wins, roles are reversed, you'll be his assistant for the month.
Match... BOOKED!
*Starts to prance around the ring like a maniac and then leaves to the backstage area*
The next match is scheduled for onefall!
Making his way to the ring accompanied by Katie Lea, from Chelsea, England, weighing in at 247 pounds, Paul Burchill!
Paul Burchill's opponent..."Pirate" Charles Burchill!!!
Your winner, "Pirate" Charlie Burchass!
The following contest is a Fatal-Four-Way Elimination match!
On the way to the ring first, from Richmond, Virginia, Mickie James!
From Louisville, Kentucky, Jillian Hall!
From Chelsea, England, accompanied by Paul Burchill, Katie Lea!
And from Buffalo, New York, accompanied by Santino Marella, Beth Phoenix the Glamazon!
Katie Lea Burchill has been eliminated!
Jillian Hall is eliminated!
Here is your winner: Mickie James!
This next match is for onefall!
Making his way to the ring from Calabria, Italy, weighing in at 227 pounds, Santino Marella!
And his opponent, weighing in at 323 pounds, Kane!
Kane hits a Tombstone for the pin.
Cody: Damn. I lost my Belt. Now my pants are gonna fall down. Now I'm all moody. But that could be the birth control pills I took just to see what could happen. *looks down* excretory matter.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the main event!
Making his way to the ring first from San Diego, California, weighing in at 165 pounds, Rey Mysterio!
His tag team partner, from Washington, D.C., weighing in at 290 pounds, Batista!
And their opponents, first:
From San Antonio, Texas, The Heart Break Kid, Shawn Micheals!
And his partner, from New York City, John Bradshaw Layfield, JBL!
Here are your winners, Shawn Michaels and JB.......
*Suddenly, Chris Jericho hits the ring with a chair, and lays out all four competitors. He hits Batista and Shawn Michaels a few times before leaving the ring for his title. Rey Mysterio gets up just in time to get a belt in the face. JBL also rises to receive a gold sandwich. Chris Jericho stands dominant over all four of Raw's competitors for the Undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Championship as the screen fades out.*